its a nice early rainy morning.

going to do webcasts.

have fallen ill. my throat aint feeling that well.

feeling sucky.

screwed up exams.

haha!

still got 2 more.

ganbatene, bakainu-kun!

i am a depressing, psychopathic, egoistical, egotestical snob who simply refuses to listen, rejects hope and gives none. an escapist on the run from all things real. a jealous little man envious of other's possessions and superiority. an person unappreciative of the wonders God has done for him. a blockhead with little inherited intelligence, and with nothing but a penchant for making others angry and upset. all of you have no.... i... dea...

dun worry guys. its just one of my philosophical reflections about bored o' myself.

how do i know i am really going crazy from all this studying?

when i keep thinking of how hard i am determined to study last semester's subjects after this semester's exams.

hey peepz!

its exam eve! keke.

tomorrow, my exams officially start. and so why am i blogging? i feel saturated. my mind is full of statistics, my stomach is full of instant noodles, my hair is full of moisture. so shall while my time away before i head off to my good o' bed.

frankly, i am super scared this sem. not as prepared as last sem. this sem went oh so wrong, so wrong. too many things happened. too many things happening. so happening right? and who says i dun have a life as a mugger aka living resident of yih?

still, the time has come. the exams aint going to wait for me to be ready. having finished studying or not, having gone through my notes once, twice, a billion times or none at all, having downed cup after cup of coffee mixed with milo/ovaltine, having forced to wake up early to fight with the irritating people who always book their seats at yih overnight, having taken more periods of naps than periods of studying, having written notes after notes, having tried to read and absorb what t-distribution is, having worried about all my other untouched subjects, having stressed over not doing my exercise regime and went to swim instead, having to comfort overly-worried/overly-confident/overly-pyschotic friends, having to sleep less than 8 hours, having... uhoh, its 1045. time to sleep.

anyway, having to do all those above and more, the exams are officially here.

so ready or not, here i come!

ps. to ms chua, dun think too much, and I and He will pray for him. everything will be fine.

to alex, stop blogging/socializing/worrying and study.

to everyone, whom i have run out of time to mention, cos i really have to sleep, GOOD LUCK!!!

oh, and to YOU. keke. good night!

hey peepz!

this is a rare sight. me blogging. its so infrequent that i blog now, that even i dun know where i have disappered too, let alone you all, my faithful readers. haha.

and why am i so free? lets say i am enjoying a half hour intermission. i finished my one out of 2 term papers of the sem. (its so wierd to have so little term papers. i remember doing 11 just 2 sems ago.) and so that marked the end of my assignments for the sem.

shall do a little review of my sem once the exam ends, which starts in 9 days for me. will end on the 3rd of may. hiaz. here we go again.

shall not gripe that much. everyone is so freaking stressed. everyone is mouthing "gone! gone! gone! this sem is gone! people are griping about getting Cs. some are depressed over B pluses. i know someone is gripping over an A- grade for his or her test. wtf right? ah well. the point is, the world's a bitch, get a leash.

i saw this on someone's pencil case: "I am dead. I am like so dead can." i wanted to laugh out loud in the study room. i was imagining myself saying that in the most bimbotic way possible. and i thought that described my own sem just perfectly.

ah well. shan't say how fat i have become. shan't say how much i am lacking in my prescribed exercise regime. shan't say how far behind in starting my revisions. shan't say what sucky grades i have gotten so far. shant' say what sucky grades i am destined to get. shan't say my life is in a mess (cos alex just tidied up the room again, after alex, mel, jul and wenya already tidied up once). shan't say i am lonely or feeling alone, or that i lack friends, or that i lack love, or that my social life is practicallly none existent. shan't say i find that there are so many cute people in the study room who make me feel more than inadequate. shan't say there are people out there who are studying harder than i am, and making me feel more than inadequate. shan't say there are team mates out there who are working their ass off, and are making me feel inadequate. shan't say my life is terrible, terrible, terrible, because, really, truly, sincerely, there are people who are suffering worse fates than i am.

i will just say, that i am in charge of my own life. and to find myself in this situation at this present point in time, in this present life, in this present circumstances, i will strive to work hard, and encourage myself to do better, and push myself where i can, when i can, how i can, in order to be able to look back with no regrets and say, "i did it."

and until then, i am dead, i am like so dead can?