ooo...

the ignorance, the arrogance, the stupidity, the misunderstanding; one wonders the use of education.

the pointing, the eyeing, the raising of the eye brows, the pouting of the lips towards a specified direction; one wonders the use of the body.

the talking, the gossiping, the back stabbing, the joking, the bitching, the whispering, the knowing silence; one wonders the use of words.

the masquerading of pride behind humility, the dressing up of bigotry under enlightened self-knowledge, the hiding of individual vested interests amidst proclamations of community well-being.

the literature, the psychology, the sociology, the politics, the language, the theatrics.

the things i learn in schoo, the way i view the world, the way i treat my life.

oh gosh.

don't blame me for being pessimistic. just blame me for losing hope.

despite all these, i will try to do my best.

happy birthday ben!

happy new year guys!

thank you val, mich, jw, ben and pq. thank you.

hugz.

yan3 lei4 shi4 ai4 de4 hua1 huo3

***

hey peepz!

i have had a great new years eve. met 3 separate groups of friends.

just want to say I love you daryl!!! (dun worry, not in THAT sense) and am so so so glad you are back. back stronger than ever. whahaha!!

watched the fireworks.

have had a long long long year. and has been slowly picking up the pieces. most have been picked up. but some shards of yesteryear are stuck in the heart, searing and making it bleed.

but i remember from d gray man, even though allen and leenalee were heavily injured, as long as they are alive, they will recover.

and so as long as i am still alive, i will get out of whatever rut or hole i am in and become stronger.

my resolution this year, is to become stronger, mentally, emotionally and physically. in that order. my friend calls me sexy. i want to be god-damn sexy. haha! ok. you all can puke now. but i will change. i will transform. this time next year. this time next year. things will look different. things will be different. i know. it will.