Hey peepz!!!

this is a pictorial overview of my yet-another-exciting fun-filled holiday!!!

Day 1 morning: Blading with Ms Janice Cheong!

went to ECP to blade! like finally after another long hiatus. i got to don on the blades!

There she is with her messy hair and her spastic expressions!

there i was pouting cos the blades were a half size to small!!! ended up cramping up my toes.

i got so shacked out under the hot sun, i put the blades back on on the wrong feet after taking them out to wriggle my toes. Janice points at my mistake and and smirks at my idiocy.

so here we are still making more funny faces at the bedok jetty! i think we look better with funny expressions! what do ya think? keke.

After blading we went to Parkway parade for lunch! ms cheong brought us to this quiet corner called cafebar. or something! after we sat down, i realised Edmund Chen the actor was sitting behind janice! seriously, for his age, he looks damn good! speaks good english too! swoonz. haha!

there janice tried to feed me her mushroom kisch. while i gobbled my spagetti. good food good company. oh, and i mean edmund, not janice. haha!

we went window shopping. and we saw this magazine on the GSS. you know, the sort that are nicely placed on counters that scream "im free!!! take me!!!" like juice. so we took one. and simply walked out of the stall. only to realise while on the bus, that there was a price to it!!! its funny how the alarm sensors did not sound off!!

so anyway, it was too late to return and janice is horrified at our crime.

Day 1 evening: Date with Ms Wen

was going to Chjimes when i saw this artistic chalk drawing on the ground outside raffles city. an artist by the name of Bever drew this. apparently, the audience was supposed to take a photo of this art work to see better. and its a 3D work! the buildings seem to stand out from the flat ground! how cool is that??

So we went to this cosplay cafe called coscafe maid cafe. the theme is french maids where the waitresses dressed in french maid costumes!!! whaha!!! there is obviously a theme going on here for the date. Ms wen the maid, meet maids! whahaha!!! so anyway, the food was not bad! only a little overpriced we thought. but the ambience was not bad, and im pretty much an anime person to start with!! pretty cool!

the more perverted ones like me would wish they threw in a little bondage into the picture. or the least they could do is have them where like really really really short skirts like they do in the anime! whahaha! and also act really really reallly cute! whahaha!! can nose bleed. but, i didn't. still the service was pretty friendly!

the least i did was to ask the waitress to take a picture with her. in actual fact, i wanted to request they let her wear their uniform...

after dinner, we went to bakerzin for deserts!!! the deserts were very nice!!! not cheap either. but i thought the ambience was great! this is going to sound gay, but we were gushing over this cute waiter! maybe i was just trying to get her mind off someone else. ooops! *zips mouth* whahaha!!! so she pouts...

Day 1 Evening: Help GM move

dunno why got underline, but ah well

so GM moves out from his old room from Block B to his new room in Tower block.

he already made like 3 trips by the time i got back to help h

We both made another 6 more trips!!! GM looks as all the trash in his new room, and decided to get cracking!

By the end of it all, GM was all so hot and sweaty! whahaha! sounds so wrong. if i did not come back in time to help he, he would have to make at least twice the trips! thats like 6 more!!! oh my god. and the trip wasn't exactly on level ground as we had to climbs many many steps.

and who was there to help him? your friendly neighbourhood dragonboater who helps store fridges and move boxes for other people! whahaha! someone owes me a treat!

so the night ended a super pack and fun night for me! and that was one day. stay tune for the rest of the week!

hey peepz! oh my gawd! the second week of the holidays is over!!! argh!!!

time is passing so fast. still got so many things to do for the holidays!!

here is a little pictorial recap of what happened in my exciting second week!


the last view of my white board before i erased. a lot of people had left their ersable marks on the board, and indelible etches in my memories.


play squash with rick zai~


Lunch with Alexander at Ngee Ann Poly


Threw away my wisdom teeth


Went shopping with absolutely fabulous duo, Bae Yong Ming and Wu Zun, to G2000


Duck Rice lunch with Uncle Daryl


Ivan brought me to the Isetan private sale again!!! wah!!! the inner auntie hungry for discount exploded in full force!!! ivan's horrible... bring to there again... sobz...


Lunch at Genki Sushi with Ivan and the yet-another-camwhore-but-this-time-someone-who-actually-looks-goods (as opposed to some of ahem, my db team mates, read: Nazri) Don


Joanna visited with a new bob! contratry to GM's views, i actually like your hair babe! cos you know i love ya! woot!


and why did Jo come visit? to help me clean up my new room!!! she looks so natural with the vacuum! work it babe!


and the Wenya maid services came too!!! i tell you, their maids do the work in style baby! and she did so much work she was sweating through her nice blouse. THEN my considerate ex-roomie, XY decided to come, after we were almost done. hiaz...


Jo and the final move!


Sunny and the final move!


and we bid adieu to a room of memories.


and we also bid adieu to another symbol of our past: they demolished the clock tower and the are demolishing the pier at sentosa. hiaz... i remembered singing there once...

Sunny and I went window shopping at Vivo before Spiderman 3. we took turns wearing clothes Topman, and took pictures pretending we were Singapore Next Top Male Model.


Me just looking coy and oh-so-delicious in this top. and i think, i look better without anything, really. wahhh!!! bhb....


Met up with the funny, ubersexual, question mark question mark, Jonathan Yew for dinner at jurong point. most memorable to me, was him going on and on about how his school kids, his shitzu and all other small adorable stuff are just so "cute!" haha! he's just as cute. anyway, Ladies, this star-studded superman is up for grabs! just give me call and i will give you his number.


uncle teddy sent me this nice pic of the sydney opera house. he swore he would never go back australia again.

yup yup! so this was my sketchy, pictoral recap of this last week!! keke... more pics coming up soon!!! stay tuned!

hey peepz!

i got hospitalized.

yes. i was. i was put under sedation. general anaesthesia. it was as my friend said. when falling into sleep occurs in stages, this was a free fall.

the next moment, i knew, i was half conscious being slapped around (metaphorically) by the nurses.

and i was in pain.

what happened? i extracted my wisdom teeth.


sunny there, taking advantage of my unglam moment to make himself look more handsome!

darren, aidan and my mommy came to visit me too! so happy. the next patient wanted to pose as well.

and really, the hospital food was pretty good!

but what i hated about being in the hospital, was to look around me and see other patients, who were in very much worse conditions than me. sometimes, i wished, i did not need to stare at reality so blatantly, right in front of my eyes, to be constantly reminded of the fragility of life. that at the end of the day, there are really, really, really a lot of things that DO NOT matter. and what matters to me most, are the ones i care about.


like mommy and daddy.


we bought mommy a new camera. i really hope mommy and daddy will use the camera to make the best of memories. was encouraging them this morning to make their own blog!!! cant wait to see what they make!!! keke.

oh. and this is a beautiful camera. shall steal it when mommy and daddy are not using it! whahaha!!! we are all cam whores really!

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!!!

This is a tribute to FXY!!! my super roomie for year 06/07.

actually, i just want to put up this picture to irritate him! haha!!! anyway, we had as much fun as i possibly could have! keke. i kept suaning him, and poking fun, and flirting with him this entire sem! keke.

all this despite the fact that we are like both day and night. like literally. i would sleep at 11, and wake up at 7. he would work at 11 and sleep at 7.

he's had to put up with all sorts of nonsense from me, like me barring him from entering the room, like me snoring in the middle of the night, like me threatening to jump on him should he not wake up on time. indeed his usual retort to me is always "nonsense" and "whatever" followed by a his characteristic chuckle and signature smile.

unfortunately i cannot claim him for my own, cos i had to share him with certain other people!!! ahem! whose names shall not be revealed.

still, xiangyi, i love you! whahahahaha!!!!




and here is a pic of us looking all suave and acting sei. keke. below are the collection of pictures i have secretly (and lovingly) taken of him! im sure my love rivals will love to rip them off this blog! keke. well, rip away people, xy's kind love is for all of us to share!!!


the strong, chiselled, handsome superman all ready for training


superman after training at monkies. a cheeky peek under the exhausted session.


and so superman finally sleeps...


trying to blast off early in the morning!!! to save the damsel in distress!!!


XY, jeff and me! why were were in the room, i forgot..


oh right, we both were trying to kiss xy!


but he'd rather play with jerry, our resident mouse, than with us.


and when jerry has run off, XY decided to play with his rod instead.


so after playing, he emerges for breakfast, super exhuasted.


yellow, amanda and robbee.


love you two!!! muackz!

Daniel Andrew Wong.







that was when wenting, dan and me eating at Brewerks


i drove and sent Dan to the airport. Wenting just HAD to go for training. based on a perculiar logic i will NEVER understand. yes WT, i am STILL digging it at you! haha!!!

chinese/canadian. dragonboater. resident playboy. flabby ass. super fast runner. beautiful smile. pleasant personality. great friend.

will miss you dan, the man!

happy birthday valerie!!! happy birthday michelle!!!

went out with the jc mates to celebrate the birthdays of our two princesses. only to have the night at jumbo seafood messed up, to comic effect, by the king who is going to gujarat to learn how to make authentic indian curry. haha!!!


MOF lady, JW and Princess Valerie


King Ben, the tyrant and Lawyer Po

just looking at how well dressed they already are, i think my classmates are all going to be super successful in the future. keke..

i din get to have a pic of mark and mich. cos my camera phone died on me. again. ah well.

happy birthday ladies!!!

i looked down. and wondered...

how stupid could i have been. and let history repeat itself?

how dumb have i been. to let it break again.

then again. i should look at things positively.

i have always been glad for things to happened. the way it did.

and for things to end the way it did.

i wished i really was cloud boy. so i could be with the sun.

heh. ah well.

Hey peepz!

i finally learnt how to load a photo! keke...

all thanks to Ms Wen!!!

I dedicate this Jia You to you Miss Wen! and AMANDA and ROBBIE!!!

JIA YOU!!!

This time, Last sem... O_o

hey peepz!!

wah. that phrase felt so foreign yet strangely familiar.

anyway, thanks Meiling for your concern. im fine! whahaha!!! i dedicate this entry to you! SO PRETTTTTTYYYYY!!!!! LIKE OH MY GOD, I GOT 9 OUT OT 10 FOR MY QUIZ... LIKE IM SO SMAAAARRRT.... DUH...

girl, you are so paris. haha!!

anyway, just finished another essay. but i handed it way overdue. think im screwed.

anyway, am hooked now on Zhang Xing Zhe's Be Your Man, Zuo4 Ni3 De4 Nan2 Ren2. its not that the girl is pretty or the guy is cute. though, i think he's has the same vocal range as i do!! whaha.. can sing the part in my own nature voice when he sings!! haha!!! i have a very low range.

anyway, its just a nice song. just waiting for me to be able to sing that song to that certain someone special. whahaha!!! im sure you are out there! somewhere.

anyway, this goes out to all my friends, study hard!!! the sem is going to end soon. carpe diem.

i decided, sometimes, the heart must break, before it knows how to love. what do you think?

Its my God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved.

Artist: Angela Ammons Lyrics
Song: Always Getting Over You Lyrics

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do
So here's my observation
You could never see it through my eyes
And I'm too tired to try

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was it too much aggrevation
Your telling me the way that I won't see
And then I change my mind you disagree
I used to be our inspiration
You chase your mind you disappear
And I know it's never over

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
And I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

So don't call and say your coming back for me
I'm always getting over you

My Happy Ending
Avril Lavigne

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could beeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there,
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

MR500. jia you!

im giving myself until 20th March.

its nothing much. not much left in me.

we all have our journeys. looking back at past entries. i feel like i've personally been through a lot.

looking back since the last race. the last race, regatta. was when it wll started. another journey. the next race is this weekend, mr 500. and look what's happened.

what was my motivation to stay. is now my motivation to...

contextualize, contextualize, contextualize.

its not as bad as it seems. its better then i think.

do i sound disjointed? maybe cos i've lost track of my thoughts. i dont know whats going on anymore.

20th March. till then. let me whine.

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake till
I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's far away
It just keeps gettin storenger
everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
Cause it breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come
Back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our heart will
Find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and
Pray 'cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
In know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
Cause it breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come
Back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our heart will
Find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and
Pray 'cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide oway or
Dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why it does hurt me so

Maybe my love will come
Back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our heart will
Find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and
Pray 'cause heaven knows

Maybe my love will come
Back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our heart will
Find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and
Pray 'cause heaven knows
Heven knows.....2x

You didn't say anything to hurt me; it's what you didn't say that made me cry.

i wish i had a change of heart. a heart transplant? its bleeding. and the pain is hard to bear.

i wish i can run away. but i cant. i need to be here. i want to be here.

i wonder if God understands.

oh my god, peepz! screeeeeeeaaaam!!!!

just for the fun of it. haha!!!

its chinese new year!! happy chinese new year people!!!

for me, its the same protocol. reunion dinner, red packets and trying to find time to get some work done. argh. its already wednesday. and i haven started work. great.

i will be virtually gone from here for a long while. so dun miss me!!!

work, work, work. hiaz.

anyway, thanks for those who have been very supportive of me this 2 months. for listening to me whine and whine and whine. for being there for me. for lending me your shoulders. for giving me your tissues. for laughing at me and with me. for being concerned. its very touching. its friendship.

and i hope i can do the same for you all, when you are in the depths of depression. and in the turmoil of doubt. a hand to keep me going. rather than getting stuck here. for perpetuity.

thanks.

and happy new year people.

this will be the year.

no point missing someone who stops missing you

ooo...

the ignorance, the arrogance, the stupidity, the misunderstanding; one wonders the use of education.

the pointing, the eyeing, the raising of the eye brows, the pouting of the lips towards a specified direction; one wonders the use of the body.

the talking, the gossiping, the back stabbing, the joking, the bitching, the whispering, the knowing silence; one wonders the use of words.

the masquerading of pride behind humility, the dressing up of bigotry under enlightened self-knowledge, the hiding of individual vested interests amidst proclamations of community well-being.

the literature, the psychology, the sociology, the politics, the language, the theatrics.

the things i learn in schoo, the way i view the world, the way i treat my life.

oh gosh.

don't blame me for being pessimistic. just blame me for losing hope.

despite all these, i will try to do my best.

happy birthday ben!

happy new year guys!

thank you val, mich, jw, ben and pq. thank you.

hugz.

yan3 lei4 shi4 ai4 de4 hua1 huo3

***

hey peepz!

i have had a great new years eve. met 3 separate groups of friends.

just want to say I love you daryl!!! (dun worry, not in THAT sense) and am so so so glad you are back. back stronger than ever. whahaha!!

watched the fireworks.

have had a long long long year. and has been slowly picking up the pieces. most have been picked up. but some shards of yesteryear are stuck in the heart, searing and making it bleed.

but i remember from d gray man, even though allen and leenalee were heavily injured, as long as they are alive, they will recover.

and so as long as i am still alive, i will get out of whatever rut or hole i am in and become stronger.

my resolution this year, is to become stronger, mentally, emotionally and physically. in that order. my friend calls me sexy. i want to be god-damn sexy. haha! ok. you all can puke now. but i will change. i will transform. this time next year. this time next year. things will look different. things will be different. i know. it will.

heh. cap dropped. not good. jia you.

waiting waiting waiting.

the holidays has been great. if not only a continuation of tumult ever since goodness knows when.

ever realised one is descending into a whirlpool of madness and insanity?

i need to get drunk, without getting an allergic reaction.

i need to dance, without looking all too rigid.

i need to do something, without caring for anyone else.

i need to sleep, without having to worry.

i need to know, without having to cause anymore pain.

i need to eat, without getting fat.

i need to get out of this country, without having my parents grumble about money.

i need a camera, without my parents grumbling about money.

i need a fashion make over, without my parents grumbling about money.

i need a life, without my parents grumbling about money.

now, what do i need? i need money.

wow. that's a revelation.

so i wrote " you've waited for so long, what's waiting one more night?" and "dun expect, dun pressure, dun hope, dun push. just let things be. please."

wow. i look at that and i wonder how long i can last without putting myself under the intense pressure of self-scrutiny and criticism.

life should be simple right? why am i putting myself through unspeakable complications? life should be straightforward right? why am i going round and round the same stupid circle, only to commit the same idiotic mistakes and coming back to squre one?

life. life. life. life is worth living. so why do i feel so dead? life is great? so why do i feel so sad? hiaz.

i know the problem, i know the solution, yet the solution deludes me as i chase my own shadow. my shadow being my other half. what an apt metaphor. metaphor for the intrinsic loneliness.

im not without friends. im just without self-love and a serious way to laugh at myself, my foolishness, my idiocy, my stupidity, my immaturity, and at the end of the day, smile and accept myself in my entirety.

i seek acceptance. only i seek it from myself.

i seek improvement. only i hope to see myself improving.

i seek companionship. only i dun just want my shadow.

its weird typing all these at 2 am in the morning. only because i am letting my poetic despondence drifting into the whirlpool of madness and insanity.

i want to read dante's inferno.

sounds like an adventure.

hey peepz!

i know i have so not been posting for a very very very long time to update about my life. you know, the normal yedda yedda yedda protocol to yell to the world that im actually still alive, even if you have all forgottening i existed.

well, basically, exmas are over. so its time to resurface into the world i once knew, only to realise so little, and yet, so much has changed.

this sem has been my most horrible. haven spoken to and have missed so much friends like daryl and mel. have gone through a lot of emotional ups and downs. got to know some friends a lot better than i have ever known them like jo and dy. all in all, i think i screwed up my academics. yay.

all sem, i have only been hearing of the escapades of my sister who has practically set her foot in every decent touristy country this earth has to offer, and of my brother who has spent one entire year in korea and has finally returned back to singapore. and all sem, the hottest topic on the lips of my dad is how much money my siblings have spent thus far.

so and so, its even made me guilty for staying in hall for this 4 months because i am simply too lazy to move out. or rather, i rationalised that staying in renders the need to shift my a billion and one things back home only to wait another 3 weeks to have them shift them back here when the semester starts. so yar.

in any case, i decided to scrap the idea of getting the canon a710 camera, when that desire was lingering all year. i decided to scrap the intention of taking up biking lessons when i get opposition from family and friends. i decided to just stay in my room during the holidays more often to i can save on the dollars and cents by eating yih food (and as if i havent had enough of it).

i think alot of ideas that require stepping out of the room and spending money have to be reconsidered... haha! there is a nike end of year sale starting tomorrow. i need to handcuff myself to my bedposts just so to restrain my pangs of desperation for nike goods and a good sale just so as to save money. haha! gosh, i hope i wun chew my hand off and go to that sale all bloody and limbless...

in anycase, i see a lot of books in my room waiting to be read. and in any hope i finish them, there is still the library, thats open to 7 every evening. well, that alone can keep me occupied the whole day. not to mention regaining some of my former health levels and going on msn and watching anime. wow. i think i just created my holiday plan right here.

does it sound sad? like not going overseas like wenting has. she's in japan! that lucky IW! haha! and jo and cherylene going to shanghai. and the guys intending to go malaysia. and blah blah blah. i think i shall say i making a trip to MC-land.

all right! that's enough sulking and whining for now! life has been just a journey... such a journey.

i keep losing. really.

i lost my nerve, i lost my control, i lost my direction.

i lost my fbt shorts, my bods underwear, my nike aqua shoes, my nike cap, my rashguard.

i lost all of them today at sdba.

was totally distracted. was totally tired. was totally irritated.

i lost my sem, i lost my sanity, i lost my emotions.

whatever.

its the beginning of the holidays. and already im like that. wtf.

positive. try to be more positive.

hey peepz!

exam stress is here!

just finished the first draft of my last essay. i know. i am screwed for exams.

so taking this slight repreive before diving back in.

lent my lappy to dy whose lap top crashed. hope everything has returned to normalcy for her.

thank you joanna for lending me her laptop to finish my essay!

its times like this that you realise the sweet, sweet value of friendship.

thus said,

i miss the guys at exchange!!! jason, noel, and especially MELVIN!!! wahahaha!

there were so many questions. what was the game plan? how are we going to row? who is going to win?

it was a pretty good medal haul for nus this time round. unprecedented. guys, 2 golds, 1 4th. girls, 1 gold, 1 3rd. mixed plate 1st. its like wow. ms wen cried tears of joy. haha!

i was the drummer this time round! haha! got medals as rower, this time as drummer. next up as coxwain! haha! Vijay better make space! haha! kiddin kiddin. we will see lah. in any case, i have pretty much lost my voice. and with reference to gm's usual joke to me, i blew as hard as can. i blew and blew and blew. i hope my blowing perked the guys up. as the drummer, it was sure pretty wet and wild from where i was, and i blew and blew and blew. i blew for every guy in the team. i blew for the guys in the boat, i blew for they guys on shore. i even blew for the girls. and at the end of the day, i was glad everyone was happy. okay. if you the joke just blown over and you had no idea what it meant, think dirty. and if you got it, shame on you! haha!

to many it means much. to some its special. James is our 1 semester exchange student, and i guess db changed his life. 'nuff said. haha! i will miss that bugger. his nz/malaysian accent, and to gm, his white girls, and gm's "intellectual looks." haha!

at the same time, despite the credible results, i left with more questions, than answers by the time i reached back to my room. what will happen from now? how will people change? what will i do? options, options, options. and of course, choice versus decision.

anyway, congrats to all the winners, also, and a special mention to Jon! haha! after all your hard work with your team, i sure hope it paid off for his team.

at the end of the day, moments of happiness, moments of sadness, the fleetingness of emotions, the essential dis-utility of a medal, the gone day of another event. like they said, its always the journey, the bonds, the friendships.

time to hit the books. 1 more essay, 5 more exams. 3 more weeks. 1 more sem. and 1 ultimate decision.

the more i stay in one place, the more i feel that the i dun suit the place. for various reasons, i dun find what i am looking for. i may not know exactly what i want. just that, i am beginning to understand what i do not want.

of course, it is also always partly my fault. i haven put in enough effort, enough emphasis, enough understanding.

simultaneously, after what i have seen right in front of my eyes, i get more and more disillusioned, more and more disheartened, more and more disappointed.

im not suitable for this. im not.

loneliness is manmade.

now, if only i can unmake it.

hey peepz!

im standing in the hotel lobby using the hotel's free internet access to type this entry! how cool is that! haha!

anyway, im doing just fine here in KaohShiung, Taiwan, and so is the team! here is a little short update.

the competition here is so tough! there are teams from hungary, switzerland, germany, even USA, France, south africa, japan , korea, indonesia and taipei. it is pretty happening! generally we did pretty well. we managed to enter the 500m finals, which we were not expecting, cos we thought we came in second in our heats, but we came in first. anyway, we came in 5th for that finals. a few hits and misses.

but generally a good overseas outing. i certainly hope we have jumped more than a few steps in terms of rower maturity, experience and understanding. hope to take them home and share with the ladies and the juniors.

the competition was pretty well organized, and there has been a lot of hype for this event apparently. as usual, lots of beautiful people. the guys from europe are huge! and they make their boat sink deeper in the water. but that did not prevent them from sweeping the top honors in the competition. and we wonder what makes them champions.

the german drummer is looks like Cameron Diaz! omg. she's beautiful. even the hungrarian drummer is gorgeous with her long flowing hair and slender legs.

as for the guys. i thought the japs were the best looking. sorry wenting. shashin o torimasen. you have to ask yongming for that. they left before the last event in the competition so we din get to take photos nor exchange singlets. the next prize goes to the koreans! haha! then perhaps the taiwanese. as for the guys who will read this again in the future, there has been batista, and the ABC. two really huge, hulking guys whose biceps are as large as our thighs. oh. and also the french, who simply loved to strips bottom naked in the open public when changing out of their wet suits when they are simply just camped just outside the toilet. we suspect they wanted to display their national pride, which is hidden in their pants. ah well.

anyway, the competition is officially over. the swiss, hungrarians and the germans took most of the medals. the indonesians did asia proud by taking a third prize. i am truly humbled by this experience. despite having rowed for 2 years, i am in no position to say i am an experience nor even a expert rower. no, not even a novice rowers. having pride in nusdb, does not mean i can be a proud rowers. i recognize my own individual deficits as a rower, as an athlete, as a person. we recongizee we still have a lot to do as a team. i hope we can be there to support one another, both those within the team, and those outside.

all right, its time i try to do some reading. i can safely say, my goal of 5.0 is pretty much out of my reach, but i must "gia diao diao" and be "stubborn" and keep up with the waves, keep up with the passing boats, keep up with the waters, the stroke rate. i have to resolve my every stroke and show them what i have got. no 5.0 also got 4.9. lai!