i stumbled on this website. love it. its a collection one-sentences that describe a critical point in someone's life. enjoy. whats YOUR sentence?

http://www.onesentence.org/about/

Along the same lines as the entry on the bible and homosexuality, but different:

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Un-American

I saw this posted on a BBS -- there was no attribution.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

sorry for all the things i've done and not done to those whom i never should have done or not done anything to.

hope all of you have moved on and left me in your distant memory.

so that i too, may nurse myself back to life.

Cartoon about racism in the US. How people again use political terms for, for lack of a better word, manipulation

hope? love? glory?

it was a happy ending.

Courtroom Quotations

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

---

• Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
• Witness: "I only have one, you know."

---

• Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
• Witness: "By death."
• Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

---

• Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

---

• Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
• Witness: "July 15th."
• Lawyer: "What year?"
• Witness: "Every year."

---

• Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
• Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
• Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
• Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
• Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
• Witness: "'Winchester'!"

---

• Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
• Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

---

• Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
• Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
• Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
• Witness: "Er...his face."

---

• Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
• Witness: "I forget."
• Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

---

• Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
• Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
• Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
• Witness: "Forty-five years."

---

• Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
• Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
• Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
• Witness: "My name is Susan."

---

• Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
• Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

---

• Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
• Witness: "After the accident?"
• Lawyer: "Before the accident."
• Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

---

• Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
• Witness: "Yes, sir."
• Lawyer: "What did she say?"
• Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"

---

• Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
• Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
• Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
• Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

---

• Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

---

• Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
• Officer: "Yes, I do."
• Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
• Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

---

• Lawyer: "What happened then?"
• Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
• Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
• Witness: "No."

---

• Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
• Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

---

• Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

---

• Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

---

• Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

---

• Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

---

• Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

---

• Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
• Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

---

• Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
• Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
• Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

---

• Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
• Witness: "That's me."
• Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

---

• Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

---

• Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
• Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
• Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"

---

• Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
• Witness: "Four times."

---

• Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

---

• Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
• Witness: "None."
• Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

---

• Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

---

• Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

---

• Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
• Witness: "Not yet."

---

• Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

---

• Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
• Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
• Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"

---

• Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
• Witness: "Borofkin."
• Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
• Witness: "I can't remember."
• Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
• Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

---

• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
• Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
• Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
• Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
• Witness: "No."

---

• Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
• Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

---

• Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
• Witness: "Fair."

---

• Lawyer: "Are you married?"
• Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
• Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
• Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

---

• Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"
• Witness: "My ex-widow said it.

---

• Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
• Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."

---

• Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
• Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

---

• Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
• Witness: "Yes sir."
• Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

---

• Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
• Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."

---

• The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."

---

• Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
• Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
• Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
• Witness: "Attached to the ears."

---

• Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
• Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

---

• Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
• Witness: "Oral."
• Lawyer: "How old are you?"
• Witness: "Oral."

---

• Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
• Witness: "She is my daughter."
• Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

---

• Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

---

• Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

---

• Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
• Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
• Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

---

• Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"
• Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."

---

• Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
• Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
• Lawyer: "It was covered?"
• Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
• Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
• Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

---

• Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
• Witness: "I could see his head."
• Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
• Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

---

• Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
• Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

---

• Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
• Witness: "The victim lived."

---

• Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
• Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

---

• Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
• Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

No offense to christians! just thought this was pointed with regards to how specific information always get selected for specific purposes. its called framing. incidently, its going to be my ISM topic for this sem.

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

"And to be calm and stoic is not?
Or should the respect of the unscholarly come to nought?
How about the overcoming of deceits, lies and crimes;
Do they not stand the test of time?
And should your children be less than perfect,
Are they not able to leave an impact?
Lastly, if all you leave behind is a scowl,
Are you then not worthy to be around?

Is this to have failed?"

- good man


Keke. This "good man" posted a reciprocal reaction to a certain supposedly famous poem. Think its very interesting, and does credit to the saying, that there are always two sides to every coin.

The definition of success is a matter of personal choice. Just hope that everyone of us out there and in here, will be able to succeed in whatever we do, whether with a smile or with a scowl! keke.

cheers!

Keke. im like vain can? just putting up pics the pro photographers took of me at the osim triathlon.

for those from my camp, i think i look like lam shiu tong can? keke.

AND, im still sick... cough.

"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed
social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded"

learned a new bitchy phrase today:

"Talk to the hand, cos the wrist is pissed."

Hey Peepz!

a little more update in my life! keke.

went home for durianz!!! keke. daddy bought them from dunno where. he said cheap cheap!

to me, cheap or not, durians are durians, and durians are the best!

Daddy and Mommy feasting!

I'm just happy stuffing them all in! keke.

Also, i completed my Osim triathlon sprint event! 750m swim, 20km bike and 5km run.

Ore and Ron were also so sporty as to take part! in the mini though! hope to see them next year!

,

This must have been the most difficult competition for me so far. the swim felt like it was taking forever, i fell during the race when i was negotiating a bend, it started pouring when i started running, i fell again on the street on the way back cos traffic was so heavy, and to top it off, my tired punctured!!!

to rub salt in the wounds, metaphorically, 2 bus drivers REFUSED to let me board the bus, despite the bus being relatively empty; and the taxi which stopped as i flagged it down drove off as soon as the driver saw my dismantled bike!

then the third bus came by, and i asked if i could come up, at first he said no, but he say my pitiful but beautiful face and then he finally consented. all right, the beautiful is bullcrap, but i really was very pitiful. i was bleeding in three places, and my shirt was stained black with oil, and i was drenched from the rain.

i was so happy i took down his name and the bus license plate so i can send in a letter of commendation! this is what i call service man. then again, why the heck was i not allowed to bring my dismantled bike up the bus? its not like its durians!!!

still, it was really a great day of challenges, learning and negotiating bends and heavy traffic!

Just finished reading Mitch Albom's the five people you meet in heaven. a very delightful read. sentimental. thought provoking. tear-jerking towards the end. here are my favourite quotes. incidentally, the five lessons Eddie (and I) would learn.

The Blue Man smiled. “No, Edward. You are here so I can teach you something. All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you… That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.”

“Strangers,” the Blue Man said, “are just family you have yet to come to know.”

“Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. A mother works so her son can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father.”

“sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.”

Ruby stepped toward him. “Edward,” she said softly. It was the first time she had called him by name. “learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”

“lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different from, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end,” she said. “Love doesn’t.”

“Is where you were supposed to be,” she said, and then she touched his shirt patch with a small laugh and added two words, “Eddie Main-ten-ance.”

i think there is nothing more miraculous than life itself. and oh my god! they are so cute to boot!

keke. think my maternal instincts are emerging. scroll through photos in getty images to pick out these babies that have touched my heart.

enjoy, the MC's babies series!

the "huh?" babies

the "aaahhhh!!!" babies

the "i've been expecting you" babies

the "oh my god, is that madonna?" baby

the "i've got what i want" babies

the serenity babies

the "is he looking at me?" baby

the i-can-only-go "awww" baby

the happiest baby

the super-babies

and my favourite of the lot, the "hello!" babies

so what are my chances of waiting for the price of harry potter and the deathly hollows to drop to a mere 20 dollars to buy it without being exposed to the ending of the story?

Hey Peepz!!

my jc class met up last friday. for our once a long while gathering! keke.

started off with dinner at menottis at raffles city! i orginally organized it to be at ding tai fung, but shah, being muslim, had qualms about being in a "porky" place even if he was not eating.

In the end, we all gorged outselves on pretty decent pasta and oh-so-delicious desserts!!! i swear, i feel fat just looking at the mouth watering array of pastries through the glass! i certainly recommend the place for its desserts!

Following that, the rest of the people linked up with us at bobby's at chjimes for drinks. chjimes is a pretty nice place for drinks and for relaxing!!!

it was certainly a memorable night. i took alot of effort in planning. but as usual, many things did not proceed as planned, like quite a number of people were noticeably missing. but ah well. hope to see them next time!!!

see you guys soon! and no more puking allowed! keke.

cheers!

Our greatest fear is not that we will discover that we are inadequate, but that we will discover that we are powerful beyond measure.

Nelson Mandela.

Strength from Adversity

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.

--- Author Unknown

appreciation can happen in the most subtle ways.

Hey Peepz!

its been a while! here's a little update about my life!

Ms Wen has graduated. here are the pics i've taken with her during her commencement.

am i eagerly waiting for this day to come for me? or am i dreading the new phase in life?

Jacob's left for his in-laws place and finally homebound. he's our few ang moh rowers who's stayed throughout. and have put in so much blood and sweat. hope to see him soon when he comes back singapore for a holiday!

After In Camp Training, i tried to organize a platoon outing. but it ended up as a section instead. still, its so good to see good o' Desmond Gay, my good buddy during NS!

Then a few of the commanders met up at Yao's place to play board games! it was pretty fun! Mall of Horror and Imperial. keke. should pick up some board games too!