Here are some suggestions for small, but powerful ways you can give to those around you today:

* Drop the expectations that you have for your partner and your family. Instead of expecting them to behave a certain way to you, see how you can show them how much they really mean to you.
* Give away your attitude. This is really one of the most awesome ways you can give to others. Your attitude and positive energy has an amazing effect on those around you. Darkness, when approached with light, becomes illuminated. In the same way, low energy, when approached by higher energy, dissolves. Help dissolve others’ lower energy patterns by bringing your higher, positive energy to them.
* Gift your intention. Whenever you encounter someone, say a silent blessing or send them a positive intention, instead of judging them.
* Show your gratitude. Write a simple note or letter expressing to someone how much they mean to you and the reasons you love them. The impact this will have on the receiver is amazing.
* Simply offer your help. If there’s nothing specific you can do for another person, simply let them know that if there is ever a way you can help, you would like them to let you know.

These things may seem small, but I think the world is changed by a profusion of micro ideas. Revolutions start with small actions.

Jay's Cai Hong

お久しぶり。

今日、どうして疲れがちだった？　多分夕べ寝た時間は足りなかったんです。　今日気分が悪かったんです。

いろいろ未だ完成したことはしなければいけなくて、体の力はどこへ残してしまいました。

シンガポールへちょっと帰りたくない。なぜなら未だ経験しません。

ユーロパへいきたい。新しい世界もみたいんです。

今夢をつくったり、ブログを書いたりしています。

未来の計画はどうやって作れる？今度のインタンシープによって、どこへ行きます。

Shelter by Corinne May

Just discovered this song from one of my favourite singers, the US-based Singaporean Corinne May. Someone made a fan vid with this song to art works of on my favourite anime, Naruto.

Warning: there is some yaoi (boy to boy love) in this vid, so dun get offended! I didn't make the video! If you like anime girls, watch the second video, which is a 処女 classification.

The song is great. The lyrics are meaningful. And I hope I can a shelter to my family and friends too.





What's wrong, whats getting you down
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around
with your head to the ground
and your eyes are watery red

I know you've been through rough times
Kicked around, thrown to the ground
but you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you
'cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at tour door
You don't have to be alone

Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend

We share a bond
You and I we belong
We're like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defenses
I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline
Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm still standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone

Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend

It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you'll

Call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend

郭静 - 下一个天亮


词:姚若龙
曲:陈小霞

用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必说给 每个人听

许多眼睛 看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见 那个自己

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听

你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听

你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我 小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

Let me appreciate the now while it lasts.

Steve Job's Standford University's Commencement speech

Hey peepz!

Its been a while (again) since I actually wrote something substantial. So here is a short update with my life.

I've had a really exciting life in Japan so far! Its has been a great learning experience so far.

After 5 months in Japan, I had the chance to go to Turkey for 2 months for an unpaid internship and undertook a project of educating Turkey High school children about Singapore and Japanese culture. And in turn, I learned about Turkish, as well as Taiwanese, Chinese, Weierzhu, Bosnian, Italian, Kazakhstan, Polish, German and Slovakian cultures as well.

It was a great opportunity to see the world in one place and make the sort of comparisons a comparative political scientist would take delight in.

Now I'm back and completing my Spring Semester studies in Waseda. I have deliberately chosen two business modules: Comparative Corporate Governance (I'm attracted to anything that has the word 'Governance') and Financial Management (in the light of the current economic crisis, I want to know more about stocks, shares and other business terminology that is being thrown over my head everyday). I am also taking a module called Intercultural Communication. Being in a intercultural environment (more complex that the 4 layered multi-cultural categorization of Singapore, while ironically being in "homogeneous" Japan), I think I had better gain some more sensitivity in my inter-personal relations across differences.

Speaking of differences, I have experienced more so than in Singapore, what it means to be examining who I am, when faced with such diversity and differences. And the more I examine, the more I think its essential to celebrate such diversity and difference.

Having made many friends, I learn more the necessity of trying to keep up with friends across vast distances and the importance of constant and consistent effort in communication. Its a matter of discipline, effort and interest in keeping up.

I have opined to a well-travelled friend of mine, that now that I have actually travelled out to Japan, I realize the importance and joy of travelling to other places. For me its about getting out of my comfort zone and shocking myself once in a while. Its about opening my eyes to the many options I have laid out in front of me. At the same time, its experiencing the conundrum of being out here, still as a student and a dependent, and looking at my peers diving into their careers and eking a living out for themselves.

It can be perceived as the "unsettled life" vs the "settled life" dilemma. The whole, get down, get married and get a family kind of life. At the same time, I do recognize the eventuality (and opportunity costs) of it all, especially when I see my friends and brother get married.

In any case, while being here in Japan, there are still loads to do! Just went to the infamous Yasukuni Shrine and Yuushuukan Museum of Japanese military history. They were very interesting to say the least.

Am planning to go on more of these kinds of trips in and around Tokyo over the weekends. Am planning to go Kyoto and Oosaka in July to visit dear dear Yui-san with a Turkish friend who's coming over for a conference.

Currently, I'm also trying to look for job opportunities around the globe. Except Mexico. Hope the flu is not getting any serious, since I'm also going to Korea in 3 weeks time to attend my elder brother's wedding to his Korean wife. Am going to meet up with my parents as well! so am very excited about that. I just hope that the wedding won't be attended by mask-wearing guests and pastors. Imagine a pastor reading the wedding rites through a mask. Imagine my brother and sister-in-law reciting the vows through masks! That would be a medical sight to behold. Maybe there should a medical theme to the dress code, rather than simply "Formal." Hmmm...

Well, just a shout out: "I'm doing great! And I am going to be back at the end of August or early September! Try not to expect any presents. Horrible exchange rates."

Miss ya'll.

What someone is looking for in a relationship:

A tinge of cheekiness, a splash of humour, generous spoonful of intelligence before blending it with lotsa honesty, commitment and respect for each other space. Bake it under 200 degree celsius of intimacy. Chill with occasional sweet whispers. Sprinkle with some maturity, chemistry and patience. Garnish with smiles before serving. ;)

Made me hungry for some food of love in my life!

Kiwi!


Some dreams are worth it all. It is sentimental and inspiration.

Ganbare!

Am here in Bursa, Turkey!

Things have been quite the experience so far! Both good and bad of course. Even though I have gone through the intercultural communications class, some things I can never get used to and the culture shock between Turkey and Japan has been a lot wider than that between Japan and Singapore.

That said, I must say I have begun to appreciate both Japan and Singapore even more despite my constant complaints about the little things. At the same time, I am also very appreciative of the good points that Turkish culture and people have over what Japanese and Singaporean cultures have to offer.

Turkish weather in winter is to say the least, dreadful. Its been raining non-stop here in Bursa. Miserable, wet and gloomy. Thats how i would describe the weather here. I have taken ill, with a cough and a sore throat. Thankfully I have an (overly) caring host family, fussing over me, even though i just requested for an early night, cough mixture and lozenges. -_-'''

I unilaterally decided to take the day off, instead of travelling to goodness know where, 2 schools, where me and my foreign friends will undoubtedly be treated with the warmth of prized fantastical creatures they have only read from story books. Because I am the only Asian guy in the group, it seems Im the most "prized." I have had girls running up to me and proclaiming they like me and they want to take me home. 0_o... Of course i enjoyed by 15 minutes of fame and my Facebook friends probably jumped 30 percent because of the hordes of high schools kids trying to get me on their list, kids I probably wont be able to maintain contact even if i want to because most of them can't speak English and I can't speak Turkish.

Haha! Of course, i don't think its a bad thing. If not I wouldnt be doing it. I realized that so many people in this world are ignorant. Especially myself. To discover the ignorance of people and being their to enlighten them (and in so doing myself), I feel accomplished. As if I have made the immediate world around me a little better. I just hope that my relating own experiences when i go back home will also do the same for those i will come across in my life.

the cocoon that governments weave over to protect their own people are so strong. That of Singapore, of Japan and of Turkey, each utilizing the many political and ideological tools to forge that national consciousness. Everywhere i go and everyone i ask, they only wish to be the nationality they were born with. The Turk wants to be Turk, the Japanese wants to be Japanese and the Singaporean wants to be Singaporean. What do you think this means for international cooperation? To deal with global issues? Just wondering how can we strengthen this avenue of international politics. Because thats why im here isn't? To promote intercultural understanding and global consciousness.

I just hope we will be in time, considering the huge mental barriers i witness here in Turkey. On the one hand Turkish men see us on streets and try to heckle at us, on the other, many stare at us like aliens, while some do smile when I smile back at them. Its going to be a hard task, as I see it.

Hey Peepz!

Its been a while since I put up an entry! So im putting one up now!

I have been really busy of late, rushing my deadlines, completing my examinations and doing up my preparations for my 2 month trip to Turkey, and here I am in the apartment of some Turkish friends in Istanbul!

Was put up here for the night before we will move on to Bursa where I will be going around Turkish high schools telling them about Singapore and Japan, as well as facilitating them with discussions of global village.

Took an Aeroflot flight from Tokyo to Istanbul, transiting in Moscow. The trip was rather pleasant. The food was pretty decent and the inflight entertainment system too. Watched Ratatouille. Funny show! "Anyone can cook!" Such a positive show. On the whole, i still prefer SIA though with its smiling crew and KrisWorld with a wider variety. I must say there were some very pretty Russian stewardesses and people on board. Sake-san was remarking that the young Russian girls seem to jump right out a model magazine.

Moscow's transit airport was a little below expectations for me. I don't know where we docked but we had to get onto a bus transiting through a few minutes of minus 7 degrees temperatures. Sake-san and I tried to take some photos with the aeroplane but were (rather rudely by Japanese standards) asked to get onto the bus by Russian security. Getting through security took a long time because there was only one metal detector for our flight and there were quite a number transiting. Food was exorbitant, as expected of EU countries really. Two sandwiches and 1 drink came up to 15 Euro, or 1780 Yen or 23 SGD. I changed my mind on buying any Russian postcards thereafter... -_-''' And there was no internet access either wireless or computer terminals at the transit area. So Sake and I were rather bored. Luckily we met a Turkish man who spoke Japanese because his wife was Japanese. He spoke Japanese very fluently and he was only in Japan for 8 months! I have been in Japan for 6 and I can barely hear a word exchanged between Sake and him! So embarrassing! I could participate somewhat in the discussion though and I thought it was a pretty interesting conversation. So the transit didn't turn out to be all that bad. =)

Getting to Istanbul meant completing our 18 hour journey from narita. But of course the journey started a lot longer before that. By the time we got to Istanbul it was 0020 local time. Was so glad that Arda and Mune came to pick us up at the airport, provided a much needed sense of security. Then a Brazilian girl, Maria Fernanda joined us shortly and proved to be a crazy burst of Latin American energy to fatigued travellers.

We spent the night at the airport before setting out on the public transport that starts running at 6 in the morning. Traffic is crazy. Much like Japan. Expect more cars. One interesting thing about Turkey is that one of their bus services, the Metrobus has a dedicated bus lane, so it sped through its stops pretty quick and I got to see a good view of sprawling buildings and residences that spread over all the way to top of the rolling hills, and frequently spotted by the two distinctive spires of the many mosques.

Got to the apartment of Arda's friends. The apartment was huge by Japanese standards. Shall try not to stereotype the Turkish people, but the housemates love a few things: playstation, especially winning eleven, soccer, drinking and smoking. They are a relaxed, spontaneous and friendly bunch of people. After waking up in the afternoon trying to get over the jet lag, (Istanbul is GMT +7, singapore is GMT +8 and Tokyo is GMT +9), one of the housemates, Deniz, Maria and me started talking about Turkey and Deniz was so passionate about Turkey. He reminds me of Michi. Michi said he would always want to be Japanese. and Deniz proclaimed he wanted to be nothing other than Turkish. And on the spot, Deniz said if we wanted to go to look around Istanbul, and we did!

we met two more of his friends, Kagen and Rasit and we all had dinner at Taksim, which was the shopping street of Istanbul. 2 million people come here everyday. The Shinjuku of Istanbul. And boy was it crowded! We had a meal at a place called "Barcelona Cafe" and had crepes and cake. It was sooooo filling! The crepes were like chicken meat wrapped up in crispy bread with french fries. Deniz treated me to dessert which turned out to be this HUGE slice of strawberry with chocolate cake!

Then we went to Bosporus Bridge, a popular tourist spot to look at the glittering lights of the Bridge that joins Turkish Europe and Turkish Asia. It felt a little existential to be standing at the point that is said to divide two continents.

Another interesting things about Istanbul, is that the place features the Ataturk, or the Father of the Turks everywhere. He was the founder of the Turkish Republic and was responsible for many modernizing efforts as well as the establishing of a secular Republic amidst the majority Moslem population. Because of him, civil law, rather than the Shariat law was instituted and the Turkish could wear western clothes, smoke and drink alcohol. I would dare say that Turkey is so much more a modern developed religious country than say certain "neighbours" that seem to be trying so hard to put religion into their constitution if they havent already. My Turkish friend seemed a little shocked by the fact that there was an Islamic police force in that country, trained to catch Muslim adherents that drink alcohol or wear anything that reveals the slightest bit of skin.

Other than that, Istanbul is a popular destination spot for tourists. And it is definitely worth a trip if you wish to catch a glimpse of the mystique of middle east in a relatively safe environment. Of course, turkey does have its weakness and social and political issues like the extremist Kurds and their invasion of Turkish Cyprus, but I will need to do more research on them.

All right! Thats all for my report on my first day in Turkey! Hope to do more when I do have the time and internet access!

Take care everyone!

The difference one can make...

ただ…逢いたくて　(I just... Miss you) by EXILE

New Version


Touching MV


悲しい過去も　若過ぎた日々の過ちさえ
kanashii kako mo wakasugita hibi no ayamachi sae
キミに出会えて　深い海に沈められたのに
KIMI ni deaete fukai umi ni shizumerareta no ni


あの頃の僕と言えば　愛し方さえも知らず…ただ…
ano koro no boku to ieba aishikata sae mo shirazu...tada...
不器用にキミを傷つけて　優しさ忘れていた。
bukiyou ni KIMI wo kizutsukete yasashisa wasurete ita.


※ただ　逢いたくて…　もう逢えなくて
* tada aitakute... mou aenakute
くちびるかみしめて　泣いてた。
kuchibiru kamishimete naite'ta.
今　逢いたくて…忘れられないまま
ima aitakute...wasurerarenai mama
過ごした時間だけがまた　一人にさせる。※
sugoshita jikan dake ga mata hitori ni saseru. *


最終電車　僕の肩に顔をうずめたまま
saishuu densha boku no kata ni kao wo uzumeta mama
寝息を立てる　何よりも幸せだったよ…。
neiki wo tate'ru nani yori mo shiawase datta yo...


今ならば叫ぶ事も　キミを守り抜く事も出来る。
ima naraba sakebu koto mo KIMI wo mamorinuku koto mo dekiru.
もう戻らない時間だけを　悔んでしまうのは…何故？
mou modoranai jikan dake wo kuyande shimau no wa...naze?


ただ…愛しくて…涙も枯れて
tada...aishikute...namida mo karete
キミの居ない世界をさまよう。
KIMI no inai sekai wo samayou.
忘れたくない…キミの香りをまだ
wasuretakunai...KIMI no kaori wo mada
抱き締め眠る夜がAh～孤独にさせる…。
dakishimenemuru yoru ga Ah~ kodoku ni saseru...
(※くり返し)
* kurikaeshi


ただ…逢いたくて
tada...aitakute

My sad past and the days of youthful mistakes
Were submerged in a deep ocean when I met you

Back then I didn't know how to love...I just...
Hurt you carelessly and forgot to be gentle

I just miss you...but I can't see you anymore
I bit my lip and cried
I want to see you now...I can't forget you
The time we spent together makes me lonely

On the last train, you buried your head in my shoulder
Breathing deeply in your sleep and I was so happy...

Now I can shout, now I can protect you
Why...am I regretting the time I can't get back?

I just...love you...my tears have dried up
I drift through a world without you
I don't want to forget you...the nights I sleep
With your scent in my arms, ah, make me lonely

I just miss you...but I can't see you anymore
I bit my lip and cried
I want to see you now...I can't forget you
The time we spent together makes me lonely

I just...miss you

What better than beer to make one go hysterical. LOL

Lovers Again by EXILE



初雪にざわめく街で
hatsuyuki ni zawameku machi de
見覚えのあるスカイブルーのマフラー
mioboe no aru SUKAI BURU- no MAFURA-
ふり向いた知らない顔にうつむく
furimuita shiranai kao ni utsumuku


あのひとが部屋を出てから
ano hito ga heya wo dete kara
この退屈な街に二度目の冬
kono taikutsu na machi ni nidome no fuyu
僕はまだ想いの炎消せずにくすぶっている
boku wa mada omoi no honoo kesezu ni kusubutte iru


ひとりでは 愛してる証さえ
hitori dewa ai shiteru akashi sae
曖昧でせつないだけ
aimai de setsunai dake
ふたりでは やさしく見守ること
futari dewa yasashiku mimamoru koto
続けられない...
tsudzukerarenai...


もう一度会いたいと願うのは
mou ichido aitai to negau no wa
痛みさえいとしいから
itami sae itoshii kara
ときめきを失くした永遠より
tokimeki wo nakushita eien yori
熱い刹那を
atsui setsuna wo


「さよなら」は僕から告げた
"sayonara" wa boku kara tsugeta
後悔ならば何度したことだろう
koukai naraba nando shita koto darou
時間だけ巻き戻せたらいいのに
jikan dake makimodosetara ii noni


唇を薄く開いて
kuchibiru wo usuku hiraite
「もう平気よ」とつぶやいたあのひと
"mou heiki yo" to tsubuyaita ano hito
つよがりと本当は気づいていたよ
tsuyogari to hontou wa kidzuite ita yo
この僕でも
kono boku demo


ひとりでは 愛された記憶さえ
hitori dewa ai sareta kioku sae
儚くてむなしいだけ
hakanakute munashii dake
ふたりでは 想いあたためる意味見つけられない
futari dewa omoi atatameru imi mitsukerarenai


* もう二度とあんなに*
mou nido to anna ni
誰かのこと愛せない そう思ってた
dareka no koto ai senai sou omotteta
でも今は情熱が
demo ima wa jounetsu ga
目を覚ます予感がしてる
me wo samasu yokan ga shiteru


If I ever fall in love, again
もう一度めぐり会えたら
mou ichido meguriaetara
その手を離さない もう迷わないさ
sono te wo hanasanai mou mayowanai sa


I just don't know what to say to you
言葉にできないままで
kotoba ni dekinai mama de
想いはあふれてくGet back in love, again
omoi wa afureteku Get back in love, again


もう一度会いたいと願うのは
mou ichido aitai to negau no wa
痛みさえいとしいから
itami sae itoshii kara
ときめきを失くした永遠より
tokimeki wo nakushita eien yori
現実(リアル)を生きる
現実(RIARU) wo ikiru


* repeat

On the first snow on this rustling town, I notice a sky blue scarf
When I turn to see a stranger's face, I hang my head down

Since you have left, it's the second winter in this tedious town
The burning feelings I have still smolder, never fading

All alone, the proof of love is covered by an obscure pain
Together, we can't continue kindly looking over each other...

My wish to meet once again is more lovely than the pain
So I'd rather have one hot moment than an eternity of lost memories

Ever since I said goodbye, I've regretted it so many times
If I could only turn back the time

As your lips slightly open, you whisper "I'm fine"
Even I realized it was just a bluff of courage

All alone, the beloved memories are covered by a miserable void
Together, we couldn't find the warm meaning of our feelings

I thought I could never love anyone again
But now I have a premonition of my passion awakening

If I ever fall in love again, If we could meet again
I won't let go of that hand or lose my way
I just don't know what to say to you, Without saying a word
My feelings are overflowing, Get back in love again

My wish to meet once again is more lovely than the pain
So I'd rather live in reality than an eternity of lost memories

I thought I could never love anyone again
But now I have a premonition of my passion awakening

It's never too late to realize your dreams.

Kurumi by Mr. Children



作詩：Kazutoshi Sakurai 作曲：Kazutoshi Sakurai

ねぇ　くるみ
nee kurumi
この街の景色は君の目にどう映るの?
kono machi no keshiki ha kimi no me ni dou utsuru no?
今の僕はどう見えるの?
ima no boku ha dou mieru no?

ねぇ　くるみ
nee kurumi
誰かの優しさも皮肉に聞こえてしまうんだ
dareka no yasashisa mo hiniku ni kikoeteshimaun da
そんな時はどうしたらいい?
sonna toki ha dou shitara ii?

良かった事だけ思い出して
yokatta koto dake omoidashite
やけに年老いた気持ちになる
yake ni toshioita kimochi ni naru
とはいえ暮らしの中で
to ha ie kurashi no naka de
今　動き出そうとしているima
ugokidasou to shiteiru
歯車のひとつにならなくてはなぁ
haguruma no hitotsu ni naranakute ha naa
希望の数だけ失望は増える
kibou no kazu dake shitsubou ha fueru
それでも明日に胸は震える
soredemo asu ni mune ha furueru
「どんな事が起こるんだろう?」
'donna koto ga okorun darou?'
想像してみるんだよ
souzou shitemirun da yo

tell me, Kurumi
What do you see looking at this city
How do I look to you now?

tell me, Kurumi
When I start to hear the sarcasm in someone's kindness
What am I to do?

Remembering only the good times
though it makes me feel like I've aged a sum
But you gotta be one of the gears
trying to get turning
You can have only as much despair as you have hope.
but still, my heart trembles at the thought of the future
'what's going to happen?'
I try to imagine.

Interesting video on Global Warming, or Climate Change or Global Climate Destabilization. Logic, risk management and saving our own bacon.

"We have greatness within us, innovative, giving, determined. Its time for the best in us to come out."



Some extreme ideas:
Don't eat meat.
Stop driving cars.
Don't use disposable chopsticks.

Some better ones:
Eat less meat.
Use public transport.
Bring your own chopsticks.

Every little bit counts.

Lovely song by Angela Aki, "Letter." Thanks Eddie for introducing it to me!

Its about a 15 year old growing up writing a letter to his/her future self. And his/her future self tell him/her to "keep on believing" and press on amidst life's hardships and challenges.

Its usually sung as a graduation song. People cry when they sing this song... T_T It's like that moving...

Angela Aki MV


Angela Aki Live


Sung by Mixed Choir. watch out for the girls sobbing...


Angela Aki will High school girls. More girls crying... With Japanese lyrics


Lyrics: English Romanji and English translation


Three part choir with Japanese lyrics


手紙 ～拝啓　十五の君へ～
作詞 & 作曲: アンジェラ・アキ

拝啓　この手紙読んでいるあなたは
Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata wa
どこで何をしているのだろう
Dokode nani wo shite iru no darou

十五の僕には誰にも話せない
Juugo no boku ni wa dare nimo hanase nai
悩みの種があるのです
Nayami no tane ga aru no desu

未来の自分に宛てて書く手紙なら
Mirai no jibun ni atete kaku tegami nara
きっと素直に打ち明けられるだろう
Kitto sunao ni uchi akerareru darou

今　負けそうで　泣きそうで
Ima make sou de naki sou de
消えてしまいそうな僕は
Kiete shimai sou na boku wa
誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの?
Dare no kotoba wo shinji arukeba ii no?
ひとつしかないこの胸が
Hitotsu shika nai kono mune ga
何度もばらばらに割れて
Nandomo barabara ni warete
苦しい中で今を生きている
Kurushii naka de ima wo ikite iru
今を生きている
Ima wo ikite iru

拝啓　ありがとう
Haikei arigatou
十五のあなたに伝えたい事があるのです
Juugo no anata ni tsutaetai koto ga aru no desu

自分とは何でどこへ向かうべきか
Jibun to wa nani de dokohe mukaubeki ka
問い続ければ見えてくる
Toi tsudukereba miete kuru

荒れた青春の海は厳しいけれど
Areta seishun no umi wa kibishii keredo
明日の岸辺へと　夢の舟よ進め
Asu no kishibe he to yume no fune yo susume

今　負けないで　泣かないで
Ima make nai de naka nai de
消えてしまいそうな時は
Kiete shimai sou na toki wa
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの
Jibun no koe wo shinji arukeba ii no
大人の僕も傷ついて眠れない夜はあるけど
Otona no boku mo kizutsuite nemure nai yoru wa aru kedo
苦くて甘い今を生きている
Nigakute amai ima wo ikite iru

人生の全てに意味があるから
Jinsei no subete ni imi ga aru kara
恐れずにあなたの夢を育てて
Osorezu ni anata no yume wo sodatete

Keep on believing

負けそうで　泣きそうで
Make sou de naki sou de
消えてしまいそうな僕は
Kiete shimai sou na boku wa
誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの?
Dare no kotoba wo shinji arukeba ii no?
ああ　負けないで　泣かないで

Aa make nai de naka nai de
消えてしまいそうな時は
Kiete shimai sou na toki wa
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの
Jibun no koe wo shinji arukeba ii no
いつの時代も悲しみを避けては通れないけれど
Itsuno jidai mo kanashimi wo sakete wa toure nai keredo
笑顔を見せて　今を生きていこう
Egao wo misete ima wo ikite ikou
今を生きていこう
Ima wo ikite ikou

拝啓　この手紙読んでいるあなたが
Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata ga
幸せな事を願います
Shiawase na koto wo negai masu

Christmas is here again. And it always marks the coming to an end of the old year.

I shall try to be retrospective and look back into the last year.

As like previous years, 2008 has been another exciting and tumultuous, energizing and enervating, magical and mystifying, clarifying and baffling, as well as gratifying and regretful year for me. Luckily, it has always been more good than bad. =)

This has been the year when I graduated after 4 years in NUS. This was the year when I had my most draining semester trying to complete a thesis in the midst of drama and emotional inertia. I am just glad that I had a lot of support from some rather key friends in my life, notably WT, PQ, XY, Ray, Small Bird, IT Darren and E. And thankfully I got a rather decent grade too! Graduating with a Second Class Upper, I fell short of my goal 4 years back, but like I always tell myself (and usually always on hindsight, shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you would land up among the stars).

Having "retired" from DB, I am always grateful for the experiences. There have been so many good moments and down episodes in both the sport and in OKR. I knew I have grown so much stronger, mentally and physically there. And I have made some really good friends and taught me alot of lessons. Mainly about how much I can push myself if I want to, and how much focus and concentration is needed to accomplish amazing feats.

Simultaneously, DB has also taught me the evil, bitchy, overly competitive, hypocritical, selfish and narrow-mindedness of people. A good stepping stone into the rather cruel world that I will soon be stepping into. Luckily, DB also taught me that there will always be people I can turn to, if I would only just knock on their doors. =)

I also joined Toastmasters in NUS. Best decision ever I should say, in the development of a wider perspective of the working world. Gotten to learn more about public speaking, networking, giving feedback in a positive way and reacting to public embarrassments in a more gracious way. Got to know some really interesting people there too. Most importantly, they have given me the motivation and confidence to speak up before I speak out, and to think through before I speak up.

After graduation, I took up an internship at the Singapore Civil Service College. There I learnt more about the public service and CSCI's functions as a department in this statutory board. I had good mentors who were very kind in guiding me and very flexible in letting me do what needed to be done. At the job, I learned about work productivity through James Allen's book and that spurred me into doing more research about GTD and productivity theory. I cant say that Im now the most organized and productive person in the world, but at least I know where my faults lie.

Been helping out at PPC and am really glad to get to know a more intellectual and social side of the community besides all its usual "vices" (and of course, such judgments is always relative). Wish I can contribute more when I return.

Lastly, the long awaited journey to my trip to Japan. Japanese classes at Bunka were so fun and tiring of course, especially after school or work. But Im glad to have made friends there too, esp. Jade. Hope that we can converse in Japanese when I return!

And of course, the Fall semester here at Waseda is coming to an end real soon. A few more weeks after the Winter Holiday will be the Spring Holiday. Glad to have made a lot of friends with very different perspectives about their own lives, cultures and stories. My Intercultural Communications class, Collapse of Complex Societies class, Global Environmental Systems class, Global Environment Politics and Policies class and of course, my Japanese classes all have been great, enriching and edifying! I believe I have learnt so much, and made really good friends too! People like Satoshi, Michi, Shoji, Arisa, Aya, Junya and so many more. And even outside of classes, I made friends like Masao and Hide through other friends.

Having made friends through the JSA like Eng Seng, Hor See, Stephanie, Ee Phong, Goi and more made me realise that there is more to Japan than just school and sushi. Coming to Japan taught me that its not just about Japan. Its about home too. And of course the Singapore classmates who came along with me. Even though Im older, one should keep an open mind about who's junior and who's senior in hierarchical Japan. They have taught me alot of things too.

And of course, Im so glad to have met Yoshi again after so long. And am thankful for Ms Oochi's guardianship. And also to Eddie who has been so much like my elder brother here in Japan.

Last but not least, I am very grateful for my family. Especially to my parents who have supported me in so many ways. =)

In short, it was a very, very, very good year.

I don't need any more presents. I already got them. =)

Just a sudden spurt of inspiration to pen my unedited thoughts.

Life in Japan has been great. It has been a real learning experience for me so far. For someone who has never been on exchange (having, to some extent, mindlessly devoting myself to my extra curricular activities these last 4 years and severely miscalculating the opportunity costs), this trip to Japan has opened my eyes to many things and issues.

Probably the most salient issue is that of national identity. Being a foreigner in the famous Japan -- that is in some cases subtle and in many blantant, xenophobic -- I have come to understand and appreciate my own identity as a Singaporean a lot more. And even more so when many of the classmates I have met are either foreigners or Japanese with a lot of international exposures. And through their stories (especially in Introduction to Intercultural Communications class), I get to hear many stories and see from their perspectives what it means to be Japanese, or whichever nationality that they come from. And of course, their stories have gotten me to think about what it means for me to be Singaporean.

I sometimes wonder why so many students were encouraged to go abroad for exchanges in NUS. I half suspect that, after going abroad, a sense of national identity and pride swells. Well, it did at least for me. I am very happy to talk about my country, how clean, how efficient and how much cheaper (compared to Tokyo) Singapore is. Of course, I try to objectify Singapore's image and remind them about the high prices for tobacco and alcohol and the death penalty for drug possession. But that only makes me appreciate the policies that the Singapore government has made with regard to these issues.

Perhaps because of me, being who I am, rather than get all hyped up about seeing the beautiful kouyou, or autumn foilage, or the snow covered whiteness of the northern parts, I get more concerned with the human aspects of my own surroundings. Yes, the physical environment is beautiful, but I would rather spend my time drinking coffee inside a warm cafe with friends, or even a (cheap) can of beer on the cold sidewalk along Waseda dori with Tosh. To me, the development of human relationships bears a different kind of beauty. A hello or a smile along the corridor, a touching story of their adapting to foreign environments in ICC class, or even just the silly jesting of nonsensical phrases in Japanese class. These are the moments that get me going.

At the same time, me being a political science major, have this tendency to be bogged down with the more depressing issues of the wider environment. The global recession and its impacts on companies are huge. But take the trickle effects even further, what would be the multiplied effects on the people, especially the poorer segments. And what about the environment that is so intimately linked with poverty? These are issues that bug me and no amount of brown leaves can alleviate the heavy thoughts that weigh my mind.

Of course, as usual, I think too much. =)

I guess being 25, and having to constantly repeat to my friends who ask, that I am 25, pricks my mind to ask, "so what does being 25 mean?" A quarter of my life has passed (assuming I would live till 100) and what am I doing here in Japan that might help me contribute to the betterment of the wider environment? How can I serve and give to making it easier for my fellow humans to breathe better? And this coming from the guy who has yet to find a job, and who might continue to be jobless because of the difficult economic conditions and language barriers.

And again, I think too much. =)

So these some of the issues that I am constantly thinking these last 3 months. Less about where I am going to travel (though I still want to see some specific spots), less about what delicious sashimi I am going to eat (though I really want to try going to Tsukiji Fish Market at 4 am in the morning), less about when I am finally going to fill that bathtub of mind and soak in there for an hour (cos my heater bill eats my money faster than the dropping of oil prices) and less about who I am going to try to get into bed with (cos some foreigners here seem to be more preoccupied with the idea of a more intimate form of "inter-cultural exchange" of the biblical kind). But its nonetheless interesting that I should be so strung up by the tensions of such dialectical brooding.

In conclusion, I am really appreciating and enjoying my time in Japan!