the more i stay in one place, the more i feel that the i dun suit the place. for various reasons, i dun find what i am looking for. i may not know exactly what i want. just that, i am beginning to understand what i do not want.

of course, it is also always partly my fault. i haven put in enough effort, enough emphasis, enough understanding.

simultaneously, after what i have seen right in front of my eyes, i get more and more disillusioned, more and more disheartened, more and more disappointed.

im not suitable for this. im not.