tiring day. tiring training.
some one said he enjoyed my previous few entries, others found it boring. ah well, i cant please anyone now can i? where's the gossip? wheres the juicy details?i guess the best thing i can do right now, is to take things with a pinch of salt and try to jazz things up just a wee bit, while still retaining my style.
i do not know why, but halfway through the return leg of the run, i actually had abdominal cramps. i do not know how they occured, or why. they just snuck up and pounced so unexpectedly. i was looking forward to running and catch up to the front, but i found myself lagging so far behind. if it was not for the v-cap, alvin, i would have simply stopped to walk. i was in turmoil. i was in real pain. every step, every breath was accompanied by a pounding in the abdominals.
was quite glad i made it back alive really. and was quite grateful for the encouragement by the v-cap. hope to improve my running in the future.
sometimes i wonder if i know how to row. sometimes in the boat, i realise that i forgot about this point, and in another time, i forgot about that detail. i cant seem to be able to get everything together, all at once. more often than not, i feel as if i have come back to square one, when nothing to me is certain. all i hear is what i am to do, and often, what i do is exactly what not to do. sometimes i feel i just cannot get it, whether its the the catch, or the twisting, or the stretching. sometimes i can do it, but i cannot endure for very long. sometimes i just go through the motion with weak arms. sometimes i put in my all in it, only to realise that i have gone off the timing. so many times, i just bend my head down, or look out to concentrate on breathing. and think about about my stroke, and what i am going to do in the next set. i try to keep a positive attitude about my stroke. when i get feedback, i make a conceited effort to work on it, but more often than not, at the expense of another aspect. i just wish i can make everything come together beautifully, the technique, the strength, the endurance, the stamina, and even the style. after a year, i guess, i still have a long way to go, if i want to do good in this sport. one year, is perhaps not enough.
i think i let myself get bogged down by too much thinking, too many details. someone told me the alpha male is the chin cai, shuang kuai man. i wonder if i can just be more relaxed about things. even though certain aspects of life is not what i wished to be, like my befallen academics, or my lackadaisical fashion sense (or the lack of it), or the small network of friends and acquaintances, or simple just the ability to be who and what i try to strive to be, i do try to convince myself, that life is still worth living to the fullest, that my goals and aspirations are still worth all the effort, that things will work out. right now, i am living on a faith, God's faith that everything will indeed come out all right.
unfortunately, God did not answer my prayer about a part time job at Borders. it was quite last minute, cos Jason has a friend who works there and Wenya got some lobang. when i caught wind, i was very interested. however, when we went up, they reavealed that they had in fact filled up all positions and were no longer hiring. crest fallen, we left. i had always wanted to work in either borders or kino. it would be like heaven, working in one of my favourite hang outs. yes, yes, i am indeed a nerd. but what better way to work than somewhere you know you would enjoy working in? its only luck i guess. its only fate. that things had to turn out this way.
right now, i am keeping my fingers crossed about that teaching job in chinatown. tomorrow is a week from the interview. i wonder if they would contact me. i was hoping they contacted me yesterday, and hopefully today. every minute that passed means a little bit more hope has slipped away.
its a little hard to keep your chin up, when there are so many things weighing so heavily on your mind. my whiteboard is silled with unconnected ideas and plans for the holidays. and into the fourth week, i still find myself grappling with whats happening right now. i think i need professional help.
"whoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times."
another random quote.
ciao!
some one said he enjoyed my previous few entries, others found it boring. ah well, i cant please anyone now can i? where's the gossip? wheres the juicy details?i guess the best thing i can do right now, is to take things with a pinch of salt and try to jazz things up just a wee bit, while still retaining my style.
i do not know why, but halfway through the return leg of the run, i actually had abdominal cramps. i do not know how they occured, or why. they just snuck up and pounced so unexpectedly. i was looking forward to running and catch up to the front, but i found myself lagging so far behind. if it was not for the v-cap, alvin, i would have simply stopped to walk. i was in turmoil. i was in real pain. every step, every breath was accompanied by a pounding in the abdominals.
was quite glad i made it back alive really. and was quite grateful for the encouragement by the v-cap. hope to improve my running in the future.
sometimes i wonder if i know how to row. sometimes in the boat, i realise that i forgot about this point, and in another time, i forgot about that detail. i cant seem to be able to get everything together, all at once. more often than not, i feel as if i have come back to square one, when nothing to me is certain. all i hear is what i am to do, and often, what i do is exactly what not to do. sometimes i feel i just cannot get it, whether its the the catch, or the twisting, or the stretching. sometimes i can do it, but i cannot endure for very long. sometimes i just go through the motion with weak arms. sometimes i put in my all in it, only to realise that i have gone off the timing. so many times, i just bend my head down, or look out to concentrate on breathing. and think about about my stroke, and what i am going to do in the next set. i try to keep a positive attitude about my stroke. when i get feedback, i make a conceited effort to work on it, but more often than not, at the expense of another aspect. i just wish i can make everything come together beautifully, the technique, the strength, the endurance, the stamina, and even the style. after a year, i guess, i still have a long way to go, if i want to do good in this sport. one year, is perhaps not enough.
i think i let myself get bogged down by too much thinking, too many details. someone told me the alpha male is the chin cai, shuang kuai man. i wonder if i can just be more relaxed about things. even though certain aspects of life is not what i wished to be, like my befallen academics, or my lackadaisical fashion sense (or the lack of it), or the small network of friends and acquaintances, or simple just the ability to be who and what i try to strive to be, i do try to convince myself, that life is still worth living to the fullest, that my goals and aspirations are still worth all the effort, that things will work out. right now, i am living on a faith, God's faith that everything will indeed come out all right.
unfortunately, God did not answer my prayer about a part time job at Borders. it was quite last minute, cos Jason has a friend who works there and Wenya got some lobang. when i caught wind, i was very interested. however, when we went up, they reavealed that they had in fact filled up all positions and were no longer hiring. crest fallen, we left. i had always wanted to work in either borders or kino. it would be like heaven, working in one of my favourite hang outs. yes, yes, i am indeed a nerd. but what better way to work than somewhere you know you would enjoy working in? its only luck i guess. its only fate. that things had to turn out this way.
right now, i am keeping my fingers crossed about that teaching job in chinatown. tomorrow is a week from the interview. i wonder if they would contact me. i was hoping they contacted me yesterday, and hopefully today. every minute that passed means a little bit more hope has slipped away.
its a little hard to keep your chin up, when there are so many things weighing so heavily on your mind. my whiteboard is silled with unconnected ideas and plans for the holidays. and into the fourth week, i still find myself grappling with whats happening right now. i think i need professional help.
"whoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times."
another random quote.
ciao!