realise i dun blog as much anymore. that's cos i dun come online as much. that's because i have a life. a real actual living life. haha!!! but here i am. so it means i must be really bored.

anyway. its christmas day. i wish for world peace. and a billion dollars so i can buy "singapore" in dubai's "the world." in case all you lazy people out there who do not keep up with current affairs (actually i read about it by accident) dubai is constructing private islands that collectively look like the countries of the globe. there's america, australia and all. but these are small islands to be sold only to the richest and most powerful of the human race. the advertisement run: "private boat? check. private plane? check? private island? check." its crazy. i wish i was that rich. yeah and so if i can afford to buy "singapore" if there is one made, i will then be prime minister of "singapore." ha! eat that harry. and your screwed up education system!

oops. sorry. tis christmas. forgive and forget k? lets all be nice. world peace.

so the hottest question for the last few days was: "so how are you spending your christmas eve?" its the foremost question for the desperate and the lonely. well, last year's was a bummer. if i can remember correctly, i spent it on jurong island guarding, and maintaining the security at its highest level. nothing happened right? everybody had a safe christmas last year right? its because of us! the sad men in green who sacrifice their time away from their love ones to keep them safe from the evils of terrorism.

anyway, upon reentering the civil society, the question has caused quite a bit of concern. we realised that among the db juniors, all except ah fu and james are attached. and that has dawn upon some light on how sad and lonely us guys are, with no girl to hug and hold. we all know what our perfect christmas eve should be. a walk hand in hand along the beach listening to the sound of the waves, wrapping your arm around her waist and having her in your embrace, then heading to the bar and sip some wine and bask in her ambience. just the two of you, in romance. and then end of the night with some hot passionate sex. oops. i mean kiss. kiss. one hot passionate kiss. yes. thats nice. sex. no! i mean kiss.

all my friends have such nice christmas days. pq went to jalan jalan with his family, ben is in shanghai, jw is in hk, zx probably went for midnight mass, gm had a party (?!), alex had his church friends. sigh so what did i do? picked the one whose situation was the most accomdating. i went with alex to watch his friends sing christmas songs. sounds like the above describe situation right? but it was aaallllllllll wrong. haha!!! i was just desperate for company. and anyway, alex was only enthusiatic for me to come along, cos his church people are the evangelical kind. ie. i am a potential target for conversion into god's holy kingdom, and what better time than christmas? it was alright, except for the spending christmas with a guy part. but then again, i was thinking, why be sad simply because i am not attached to a girl. i should be happy that i have friends. friends who are just as unattached, but more than accomodating to have to spend some time with. anyway, so we chatted and we got to know more about each other as we listened to some really joyful people sing cheerful songs that went all out of pitch. but ah well, its christmas! well, it was just a short company and i went home early.

the truth was, i wanted to spend some time alone, at home. you know, do some reflecting on christmas. it was the original plan, until i turned down an invitation to got drinking at a bar. you see, i din not feel like drinking so i turned him down and my friend got pissed at me and ended off his rebuttal with "make it a point not to ask you out next time." i was quite depressed at that point. i was having lunch with my db friends after a sculling session and i showed the message to pq and alex. hiaz. it was such a dampaner for me. i mean, why did my friend had to get all emotional blackmail and stuff, and getting me to feel guilty and all bad on christmas eve. so in the end, although i could not find anyone to spend the night with, alex was kind enough to get me out to the esplanade. i guess he knew i was depressed. so thanks a lot man. think it would have been a really depressing christmas eve night if i din go out.

so i hope everyone had a good and memorable christmas eve.

and so it is christmas day. i woke up, hoping to watch 12 kingdoms and inuyasha which i requested my mother to tape last night. to my horror, they weren't taped!!! when i asked my mother, she realised that instead of hitting the "record" button, she pressed the "play" button. sigh. then she went on and on about how she din know how to operate the vcr (though i taught her before, at least i told her where the "record" button was), and how my dad never taught her (?!!!) and how technology was so advanced and how old she felt... and yeah... you know... stuff. i was kinda irritated, not the fact that she pressed the wrong button, cos i am fine with that for i can always go on the net to read the spoilers, but the fact that my mom was going on and on about what sounded to me like excuses. i am not sad that my mom said such things (cos she's my mom) but really that i realise that i sounded like her. i mean, i realised that at many points in my life, i myself had been making excuses and justifying myself, all in a bid to escape or deflect responsibility. in her behavior with i felt uncalled for, i found something i was ashamed of, something that i myself had done.

yeah. so such are my reflections... the sort of thoughts that i wanted to do last night. but i guess i just have to do it this morning. and so i shall put it down on my christmas list: i wish that i do not make as many excuses in the future than i have done so in the past. and i wish for world peace. and "singapore."