ganbatene, baka inu
hey peepz. its 2 am in the morning. i am getting my hair dried before i turn in. just got back barely 30 minutes ago from work.

today was my first banquet. it was quite interesting. got gan a few times again. i could not portion the food with one hand with a fork and spoon. so my "senior" june had to do the portioning, which was not her original role. ah well. the manager had to jump in and help. quite pai seh. then after everything, i helped a female server, a complete stranger, by pulling and laying out a large table cloth. just as about i was walking back to my area to put back the lazy susan, the manager called me and asked if i had finished all my chores. i told him i was going to put back the lazy susan. and he called me a busy body for helping the female server. i was like huh? i was going to finish my part anyway, whats with a little helping hand? ah well. although i tried not to take it personally, it stayed as a sting in my heart. i guess, i would have to think twice before helping others from now on.

think that manager hates me. i seem to have a bad thing going on with superiors. i hit a really bad note with one of my bslc sergeant, and then another one with my aslc sergeant. ah well. seems like everywhere i go, somebody somewhere must hate me, be it my face, my attitude, or my actions. haha! well, i try to brush it off though. cant please everyone now can i? but with my cute face and positive attitude? really man, somehow somewhere, there must be something wrong with me. haha!

there was a theft at the sdba today. i was shocked. cos the last person with the key to the shed where all the money was stolen was ME! that makes me the prime suspect! and you know, all the thoughts just ran wild and crazy in my head. i sort of feel guilty. sort of feel as if i am to be blamed for this misfortunes. and to makes things feel worse for myself, i am feeling as if all the misfortunes in the world must be due to my sole existence. haha! okay, thats a bit too far, but you get the picture for this o' pessimistic man.

speaking of man, the manager kept calling me "boy." sigh.

was kept so busy on my feet the whole evening and night. and suddenly, after the banquet, plunged into a short period of depression. think i shall have to sleep it off. tomorrow still got training. tomorrow still got run. tomorrow still got another day to figure out.

its ironic, that the more i kept hoping, and praying, and yearning for the simple life, it gets more and more complicated, more and more complex; entangled and entwined with the mechanics of luck and fortune, with the fragility and conflict of human relations, with the out-of-control spiralling of an uncontrollable mind.

i hope that thief gets a horrible death. i pray that the manager trips and fall one day. i hope i will learn to portion the food properly. i pray that dr melvin gets well soon! i pray that everyone will have harmonious friendships with one another. i pray we win pm cup.

tomorrow will be a better day. i am putting my faith in that.
0 Responses