ganbatene, baka inu
hey peepz. just go back less than hour ago or so. really shack now.

went on a shopping spree with alex. woo hoo! we went to check out the asics shops at ps. they are clearing out, so i wanted to check out the running shoes on discounts there. they have saucony shoes! wow. its not easy to find them. or at least, i din really bother to search for them. yao swears by them. he's one of their biggest fan. he's a middle distance runner back in jc, so i have my trust and faith in his judgment. so i went ahead and spent 150 dollars on it. and it was on a 20% discount! wow. i was so happy.

when i reached home, i was quite excited to tell my dad about it. cos i have been telling him i was going to buy a new pair of shoe all week long. the first thing he responded was, "60 dollars ah?". diaoz... and i thought to myself, "and so it has started..." the money game that is. no dad, its 150. where did you get it? asics at ps. asics? and he said it with a note of cynicism. and so when i showed it to him, the first thing he said was, "the heel is too hard." diaoz diaoz. i felt a dark cloud looming above my head. and so, he launched into a lecture about running shoes...

what a bummer. to be so proud of something, only to have my judgment criticized. thinks its the 150 dollars that put him off. my dad is the sort of person who would rave and rant about the 10 cents wantan mee in his days compared to the 4 dollars version now... yeah. i bet you guys get the picture.

and what would i expect to hear from my dad after that, was the doomed question. "so how much do you have left in your bank." the dark cloud gathered faster. thought i heard a crack of thunder... "not much right?" and he proceeded to launched into a sterner lecture about saving money, and blah blah blah. not that i disrespect my dad. i simply heard that lecture one to many times. i think i am that sort of rebellious kid, that the more my parents talk about saving money, the more flippant my attitude towards it is. i am gone case. really. really gone case.

anyway, in view of the fact that the teaching agency did not respond to my pleas and cries, i decided to give the banquet thing a try. the very banquet at conrad hotel that po qin quit. think desperate, i am.

its not wonder that my money is flying out of my bank like caged pigeons who have never seen daylight. i have been spending them on whatever nonsenses. of course, most notably is my mph warehouse insanity. then i bought a few clothe articles, which probably amounted to quite a considerable sum as well. then i bought a few bottles of addidas soap, because several people, of whom i shant mention names, have been "borrowing" from me. "ge gao..." and now, I bought a new pair of shoes, and a another shirt and what nots. sigh. really gone case. i will be a pauper in the future. "you must take care of your finances, when i am gone..." my dad's words ringing in my head.

really gone case.

i really am not very into all the philosophical stuff. i think my brain is really too simple, and too ill equipped to grasp the metaphysical structures of life, society and human relations. all i can think about is how to fill my bank with money and how to keep it there. all i can think about is how am i supposed to pull my cap up, which is hovering too dangerously close at the border line. all i can think about is how to survive the next day without another major crises banging on my door. all i can think about is how to maximise my happiness and minimize my sadness and pain. i am utilitarian trying to breath under the sea of life.

right now, my eyes are just droopy. and my body cries for the simple pleasure and healing powers of sleep. i pray God has his plan all laid out for me for tomorrow. and i hope it will be a smooth one, no depression, no criticisms, no disappointments, no hurtful remarks, no rejections, no dao responses. no none of that! i just want smiles, and happy faces, and joyful cooperations, and harmonious living. yes. i want the perfect day where the sun will shine and the flowers will bloom, and the clouds are just nice over our heads while we row the perfect set in synchroncity, and doing it under 2 minutes. yes. it will be the best day of my life. and i can die happy.

oh. and i want to go to the GNC clearance sale tomorrow.

gone lah. gone case.
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