somehow, i find the analogy used int the following passage from the introduction of a motivational book quite inappropriate....
"it is also hoped that this modest book may serve as an additional chariotry in the reader's fight against the battles of life. it is further hoped that your chant for success, like the cry before the oneset of orgasm, can be turnd into a chorus of triumph as you bathe in your fountain of success overflowing under a tap of unending flow."
guess if you were all as perverted as me, you'd be imagining all sort of things...
diaoz.
well, dun ask me where i got it from. okay, okay, ask me. from the central library. just discovered the cache of psychology books. and the host of self-improvement and self-help books there... i was very happy. very excited... bordering on ... erm... "orgasmic"? muahaha!!!
found out my favourite hanging out spot for the holidays liao... no need for borders, no need for kinokuniya. all that i need, is right here in the central library. haha!!!
well, was doing so reflection about my obsession with self-improvement books. guess, i have developed a physiological and psychological (?!) dependency on such things. how ironic dun you think? getting mentally and emotionally hooked on books that espouse advice about how to become independent.... maybe its a marketing ploy... maybe its an evil scheme of the psychology industry...
but that's not it. in a sad sense, i find myself quite disappointed with myself, that i have to rely on books on a constant basis to get some form of motivation, just so as to carry on with life. just so as to strive for goals that are inherently questionable. everytime i tell my friends that i read self improvement books, they laugh, scoff, berate me. why are you reading such crap? why are you wasting time learning how to manage your time? erotica is so much a better read! hmm....
its just that i seem to be seeking answers about life in books, and perhaps i am not living out the answers? i seem to be prepared for life, yet am too afraid to step out and take action? and yet, everytime i do, everytime i try, i seem to meet with opposition, meet with impediments, meet with frowns of disapproval. sometimes when i tell my friends some of my goals... they laugh. or just frown. i get very affected... i get very doubtful... you see, i have not had a good history of making good decisions. and most of the decisions i have made, usually turn out to be bad...
and when i get thrown back into the dumps, i seek refuge in self help books to sustain the basic motivation for simply living. this cycle, does indeed gets tiring. and sometimes, i just want to do what i want, really. without any care for everyone else.
but life does not work that way. the interdependent nature of society says that whatever you do will have an effect on your fellow men, directly or indirectly. unless of course you live in a society-less world. ie. all alone. yet, i value my independence so much. i value my freedom to the utmost. i hate it when things or people shackle me down and preventing me from achieving my full potential.... for the naruto fans out there, its like uchiha itachi... who by conviction of his ability, obliterated his clan of which he felt to be restraining him from attaining the highest level of power. sometimes i feel that way, that my own "clan" or the world i that i have based myself on, is too small, and i yearn to get out. i want to go to acheh like my sister and help the needy. i want to backpack round europe like john and find out what it is like to live in situations more dire and hardy than simply coping with exams. i want... really, maybe just be better than who i am right now.
and yet, i am afraid that to do that, means to be like uchiha itachi, destroy what i have now, simply to create a new one, which i might be disappointed about and... you get the picture... this cycle of drudgery and endless bitching as it is right now, will never end. and i should just be contented with what i have right now and stay in my shell and live in the mud, and just simple breathe. breathe mc breathe. dun think. just breathe.
its this sort of thinking that i do that drives me mad. and its this sort of thinking that i do not do that drives me unmotivated. what is a crazy, screwed up freaked nature of a man who has yet to mature and grow up supposed to do? am thinking of seeking the wisdom of a higher being for solace, comfort and guidance. but will that mean, to abandon this world of acestism and its own brand of shackles? and will it necessarily mean i will be free? or be shackled by the world of religiousity and its brand of constraints?
fine. enough endless, roundabout, useless pondering that will not help in saving me from the abysmal results i foresee myself getting in the exams. back to the foreign policies of worldly politics.
"it is also hoped that this modest book may serve as an additional chariotry in the reader's fight against the battles of life. it is further hoped that your chant for success, like the cry before the oneset of orgasm, can be turnd into a chorus of triumph as you bathe in your fountain of success overflowing under a tap of unending flow."
guess if you were all as perverted as me, you'd be imagining all sort of things...
diaoz.
well, dun ask me where i got it from. okay, okay, ask me. from the central library. just discovered the cache of psychology books. and the host of self-improvement and self-help books there... i was very happy. very excited... bordering on ... erm... "orgasmic"? muahaha!!!
found out my favourite hanging out spot for the holidays liao... no need for borders, no need for kinokuniya. all that i need, is right here in the central library. haha!!!
well, was doing so reflection about my obsession with self-improvement books. guess, i have developed a physiological and psychological (?!) dependency on such things. how ironic dun you think? getting mentally and emotionally hooked on books that espouse advice about how to become independent.... maybe its a marketing ploy... maybe its an evil scheme of the psychology industry...
but that's not it. in a sad sense, i find myself quite disappointed with myself, that i have to rely on books on a constant basis to get some form of motivation, just so as to carry on with life. just so as to strive for goals that are inherently questionable. everytime i tell my friends that i read self improvement books, they laugh, scoff, berate me. why are you reading such crap? why are you wasting time learning how to manage your time? erotica is so much a better read! hmm....
its just that i seem to be seeking answers about life in books, and perhaps i am not living out the answers? i seem to be prepared for life, yet am too afraid to step out and take action? and yet, everytime i do, everytime i try, i seem to meet with opposition, meet with impediments, meet with frowns of disapproval. sometimes when i tell my friends some of my goals... they laugh. or just frown. i get very affected... i get very doubtful... you see, i have not had a good history of making good decisions. and most of the decisions i have made, usually turn out to be bad...
and when i get thrown back into the dumps, i seek refuge in self help books to sustain the basic motivation for simply living. this cycle, does indeed gets tiring. and sometimes, i just want to do what i want, really. without any care for everyone else.
but life does not work that way. the interdependent nature of society says that whatever you do will have an effect on your fellow men, directly or indirectly. unless of course you live in a society-less world. ie. all alone. yet, i value my independence so much. i value my freedom to the utmost. i hate it when things or people shackle me down and preventing me from achieving my full potential.... for the naruto fans out there, its like uchiha itachi... who by conviction of his ability, obliterated his clan of which he felt to be restraining him from attaining the highest level of power. sometimes i feel that way, that my own "clan" or the world i that i have based myself on, is too small, and i yearn to get out. i want to go to acheh like my sister and help the needy. i want to backpack round europe like john and find out what it is like to live in situations more dire and hardy than simply coping with exams. i want... really, maybe just be better than who i am right now.
and yet, i am afraid that to do that, means to be like uchiha itachi, destroy what i have now, simply to create a new one, which i might be disappointed about and... you get the picture... this cycle of drudgery and endless bitching as it is right now, will never end. and i should just be contented with what i have right now and stay in my shell and live in the mud, and just simple breathe. breathe mc breathe. dun think. just breathe.
its this sort of thinking that i do that drives me mad. and its this sort of thinking that i do not do that drives me unmotivated. what is a crazy, screwed up freaked nature of a man who has yet to mature and grow up supposed to do? am thinking of seeking the wisdom of a higher being for solace, comfort and guidance. but will that mean, to abandon this world of acestism and its own brand of shackles? and will it necessarily mean i will be free? or be shackled by the world of religiousity and its brand of constraints?
fine. enough endless, roundabout, useless pondering that will not help in saving me from the abysmal results i foresee myself getting in the exams. back to the foreign policies of worldly politics.