doing work, in GM's room (gasp what are you doing in his room?!), typing on his laptop in a futile attempt to do my sociology summaries as part of my tutorial assignment due in 14 hours time. thought that i would just do a little blogging to clear my mind, rest my spirits and consolidate my energies before i get down jiggy with it. feel myself enervating though...
i was feeling so desperate to finish this work, that i deliberately skipped my virute and leadership lesson today (gasp you skipped class?!). i was so bent to doing my work. yet, in the 5 hours i had in the library, i was sleeping for 3. cos one, i slept at 3 the night before, two the chair was so comfortable, and three, i just felt really lazy. so yeah. i pulled myself out of the library and went for db training. ironic eh? for me to skip lessons and go for physical training. what's up with me nowadays. especially so when i experienced a panic attack at 2 am last night just thinking about how much work i still have and how much more work i have to do to catch up and prepare for the exams. maybe this is another instance of procrastination and self deulsion.
speaking of self delusion, mr nerney has returned me my paper two, and with it, the grade. i dun want to open it up and look at it. i have a nagging feeling i will be thoroughly disappointed. probably a B. i would be so distracted, i wont be able to study. so i think i will only open it up after the exams. yes. that's what i will do. im a coward. smart. but a coward.
db training was fun, as usual. was not so tough. a good workout. now i feel physical lethargy. i want to sleep. but i have to work. jiahe was saying how everyone will be rowing, which means i will probably be rowing as well. oh dear. i never counted on being a participant in regatta. i was giving myself one year. i was hoping to be sidelined, and just watch and support the guys. and now, the prospect is solidifying. oh dear. i should i have trained more in the past.
slept through during ps lecture today, during the part when professors were introducing the different sub branches of ps. it got me wonder, if ps is the major for me, since i could be so easily prompted to sleep. its a path. of no return. as is with all the other majors. okie. stop. i am worrying myself again.
GM is such a romantic. he's waiting for the right girl to come. he reminds me of yesterday when my sociology tutor george radics said that we have all been preconditioned by and have become obsessed of the idea of the one true love. the idea that there is one girl waiting out there, who is meant for me and me alone, and that if i search hard enough, we will be together, forever and ever. when he put it that way. yeah, it did sound kinda bullshitty. have the notion of marriage and romance been overly romanticized by countless upon countless of love movies, and drama serials and literature? have we been bombarded and inundated by seemingly noble and ultimate versions of love that we are driving ourselves insane? how are we supposed to behave? how are we supposed to react? i dunno. i just want love. and be happy with it.
got my reservist letter. told to report on 30 dec. recall anytime between 8 jan onwards. am i supposed to be happy? am i supposed to be reluctant? i dunno again. i dun feel anything now. i just feel my brain liquidating. will blog later again. after my work. and if i come out of it alive.
lesson of the day: the library is too comfortable.
i was feeling so desperate to finish this work, that i deliberately skipped my virute and leadership lesson today (gasp you skipped class?!). i was so bent to doing my work. yet, in the 5 hours i had in the library, i was sleeping for 3. cos one, i slept at 3 the night before, two the chair was so comfortable, and three, i just felt really lazy. so yeah. i pulled myself out of the library and went for db training. ironic eh? for me to skip lessons and go for physical training. what's up with me nowadays. especially so when i experienced a panic attack at 2 am last night just thinking about how much work i still have and how much more work i have to do to catch up and prepare for the exams. maybe this is another instance of procrastination and self deulsion.
speaking of self delusion, mr nerney has returned me my paper two, and with it, the grade. i dun want to open it up and look at it. i have a nagging feeling i will be thoroughly disappointed. probably a B. i would be so distracted, i wont be able to study. so i think i will only open it up after the exams. yes. that's what i will do. im a coward. smart. but a coward.
db training was fun, as usual. was not so tough. a good workout. now i feel physical lethargy. i want to sleep. but i have to work. jiahe was saying how everyone will be rowing, which means i will probably be rowing as well. oh dear. i never counted on being a participant in regatta. i was giving myself one year. i was hoping to be sidelined, and just watch and support the guys. and now, the prospect is solidifying. oh dear. i should i have trained more in the past.
slept through during ps lecture today, during the part when professors were introducing the different sub branches of ps. it got me wonder, if ps is the major for me, since i could be so easily prompted to sleep. its a path. of no return. as is with all the other majors. okie. stop. i am worrying myself again.
GM is such a romantic. he's waiting for the right girl to come. he reminds me of yesterday when my sociology tutor george radics said that we have all been preconditioned by and have become obsessed of the idea of the one true love. the idea that there is one girl waiting out there, who is meant for me and me alone, and that if i search hard enough, we will be together, forever and ever. when he put it that way. yeah, it did sound kinda bullshitty. have the notion of marriage and romance been overly romanticized by countless upon countless of love movies, and drama serials and literature? have we been bombarded and inundated by seemingly noble and ultimate versions of love that we are driving ourselves insane? how are we supposed to behave? how are we supposed to react? i dunno. i just want love. and be happy with it.
got my reservist letter. told to report on 30 dec. recall anytime between 8 jan onwards. am i supposed to be happy? am i supposed to be reluctant? i dunno again. i dun feel anything now. i just feel my brain liquidating. will blog later again. after my work. and if i come out of it alive.
lesson of the day: the library is too comfortable.
here's a lesson for u : do not allow yrself to sleep in the library if u need to do work .. tie a string on yr balls and pull it @ regualr intervals to induce pain if necessary and to keep yrself awake
p|que
well PQ... tt wont work if MC is a real SADO guy. u're forgettin tt he likes PAIN... ooooo... he likes.
who is titan?? herm herm..