ganbatene, baka inu
superficial. busy. backslide. no vulgarites. protection from tohers. swimming pool. loud and noisy. phsical. hug. whine. laughs at my big mouth. thumb drive. relaly dirty fingernails. smokes. taxi driver. mattress and clams.selected childhood memories. plain blank. academic rival. intensly competitive. secondary school friend. church freind. sees through others. goes fro beauty. kinky underwear. sensual. transformation. touchy. hair. passive. circular logic. non-violent. PUPPY!

its always interesting and moving to learn new things about friends. two people who were once complete strangers moving closer and establishing a plane of open communication. it goes beyond first impressions, beyond basic emotion to attain a higher level of intellectual interconnection and deeper sense of love and longing.

i breaking apart. sometimes i am surprised at the things he sees in me that i have never seen before. he has become to me my emotional crutch and rational lens. everytime we meet, i feel that we can be so comfortable with each other. i am grateful for the things he does. i am probabaly just grateful for the being he is.

however, there is always this lurking ominous feeling inside. as always in any friendship, there are always risks. the more you get along with someone, initailly the passions, the enthusiasm, the determination are at their peak. but as time goes by, the demands of society, of life, of ourselves, we will backslide, like church. the more we get along together, the more we become entrenched in each other's life to the point we become unconscious of the things we do and the things we have done. then one day, revelation will just strike us and realise that there are loopholes, weaknessnes, wrongdoings. there are others things we long to do. what then?
that's when the curve slopes down.

i don't want a situation like this. i had it before. several times. it feels terrible. sometimes i am guilty of rejecting others. sometimes i get rejected. we shut each other out after a long relationship. i want to make good here. i am just wondering how long it will last. i want forever. but will it? how can there be friends forever when all of us walk in and stroll out of one another's hearts and lives? right now, i am contented with understanding each other. when we reach that stage, we will try to figure things out.
0 Responses