ita 1048 according to my lappy's time. have been here since 10... and all this while i have been doing nothing but surfing and mail clearing and al that sort of jazz. kept telling myself i shall start working at 1015, then 1025, then 1040.. now 11... i wonder what is the next time "limit" i am going to set for myself.
i am sitting here in the libarary. not many people here today as today's good friday. a good friday indeed... had another one of my bad sleeps last night... was chatting with a friend on the phone yesterday on the bed. and immediately after the chat, i fell alseep like IMMEDIATELY!!! i hadn't flossed my teeth, brushed my teeth, gargle my mouth, or switched off my lap top, or my light... and i was sleeping in a an awkward position, and my blanket was only covering my torso, leaving my upper body exposed to the fan.. and i felt damn cold, and disgusting... and all throughout, at the back of my mind, i kept telling myself i have to wake up and floss, brush, gargle, and switch off the lap top and lights. and lie in a comfortable position under the protection of my precious blanket. so the thoughts kept surfacing up and down in between rem sleep periods and dreams... but like my dreams, my intentions never materialized, and when i finally opened my eyes, it was 6. i flung myself across the room to switch off the lights and then threw myself across the room again to switch off the lap top. and promptly dived into bed and proceed to spread open my blanket and seek refuge under the covers. but in less than an hour, the sun started to stream in and i woke up again!!!! i am quite sensitive to sunlight. and usually no matter what time i sleep, if i leave the blinds open, i will wake up to the greetings of the 8 am sun beams. usually it would be a good welcome if i had lessons. but i did not on this supposedly "good" friday. i groaned in pain. and wished the sun would just go away, and covered my head with my blanket in a vain attempt to run away from the increasing brightness. but my blanket is the sort with holes, and not like a quilt or anything... from then on, my sleep became as sporadic. kept waking up every 10 minutes, only to look at the time on my handphone and persuade myself, "10 minutes more". and so this viscious cycle carried on for about an hour, and finally managed to sit up right on my bed at 9; and i was like "argh!!!!" upset and disappointed with myself again. for not sleeping well, for not taking care of myself, for giving in to the devil and temptations of sleep. bad boy! bad boy! i need a hug.
had the wierdest dreams last night. the thing about me, is that i seem to be dreaming ALL the time... in my sporadic naps mentioned above, they were all different dreams with each nap. everytime i woke up i wanted to go back in and sleep in order to continue with the previous dream, but it always ended up being an entirely different dream, entirely different world, entirely different reality. sigh...
so now i am in the libarary typing this blog, waiting for a friend to do project, and i am feeling sleepy again. maybe i shall take a very short nap....
i am sitting here in the libarary. not many people here today as today's good friday. a good friday indeed... had another one of my bad sleeps last night... was chatting with a friend on the phone yesterday on the bed. and immediately after the chat, i fell alseep like IMMEDIATELY!!! i hadn't flossed my teeth, brushed my teeth, gargle my mouth, or switched off my lap top, or my light... and i was sleeping in a an awkward position, and my blanket was only covering my torso, leaving my upper body exposed to the fan.. and i felt damn cold, and disgusting... and all throughout, at the back of my mind, i kept telling myself i have to wake up and floss, brush, gargle, and switch off the lap top and lights. and lie in a comfortable position under the protection of my precious blanket. so the thoughts kept surfacing up and down in between rem sleep periods and dreams... but like my dreams, my intentions never materialized, and when i finally opened my eyes, it was 6. i flung myself across the room to switch off the lights and then threw myself across the room again to switch off the lap top. and promptly dived into bed and proceed to spread open my blanket and seek refuge under the covers. but in less than an hour, the sun started to stream in and i woke up again!!!! i am quite sensitive to sunlight. and usually no matter what time i sleep, if i leave the blinds open, i will wake up to the greetings of the 8 am sun beams. usually it would be a good welcome if i had lessons. but i did not on this supposedly "good" friday. i groaned in pain. and wished the sun would just go away, and covered my head with my blanket in a vain attempt to run away from the increasing brightness. but my blanket is the sort with holes, and not like a quilt or anything... from then on, my sleep became as sporadic. kept waking up every 10 minutes, only to look at the time on my handphone and persuade myself, "10 minutes more". and so this viscious cycle carried on for about an hour, and finally managed to sit up right on my bed at 9; and i was like "argh!!!!" upset and disappointed with myself again. for not sleeping well, for not taking care of myself, for giving in to the devil and temptations of sleep. bad boy! bad boy! i need a hug.
had the wierdest dreams last night. the thing about me, is that i seem to be dreaming ALL the time... in my sporadic naps mentioned above, they were all different dreams with each nap. everytime i woke up i wanted to go back in and sleep in order to continue with the previous dream, but it always ended up being an entirely different dream, entirely different world, entirely different reality. sigh...
so now i am in the libarary typing this blog, waiting for a friend to do project, and i am feeling sleepy again. maybe i shall take a very short nap....